His songs are littered with curse words, threats of violence… you know, typical rapper stuff. If that’s not your scene, or you’re currently reading at work, it might be best to circle back around and watch these clips another time.

But for those in the clear… Holy crap, man. Bridges (stage name RTB MB) has been explosive on the court and the mic these past few seasons.

Much has been made of Damian Lillard’s rapping highlights: a super smooth freestyle on Sway in the Morning, four albums, and several Lil Wayne features. He’s really good — the best in a long line of NBA players who rap (Lou Williams deserves a shoutout here, too).

Miles Bridges is a straight up rapper. Listening to him isn’t a novelty, like it would be for Marvin Bagley III. RTB MB songs deserve to be in your gym playlist or at max volume in the car — just like every other great artist.

Today, we’re looking at five perfect moments that have come from Bridges’ rap career.

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Counting masks in the car like money

Bridges burst onto the rap scene in late 2020 with “Steph McGrady”, a laundry list of questionable lyrics and indictments on his life outside of the NBA.

“I ain’t throwing ones in the strip (club), I got Cash App”

“I just popped a bean in the club and I can’t move”

“I got shooters in the D like I’m Dwane Casey”

All of that is fine and dandy. It’s entertaining to hear an NBA player say all of the things NBA players shouldn’t say in a two minute song. Dame D.O.L.L.A and NBA hip-hoppers of the past would never lean this far into being a rapper.

We have to remember that Bridges is from Flint, Michigan — where the rappers only take certain types of beats, and rely on humor and punchlines before anything else. With that, we get this gem at 0:33 in the Steph McGrady music video:

We know he doesn’t carry ones, but it’s still time to flex — so he grabs the pile of mask out of the center console and spreads them out like a stack of cash.

Actions speak louder than words, so we know Bridges has been safe during the pandemic, all masked up. A true role model.

The first minute of the “Intro” music video

“Intro” is Bridges’ most popular song on Apple Music — swift and simple production, baseless lyrics, some humor thrown in here and there. The music video is even better, and the first minute? Sensational.

We set the scene with a few ladies walking up to the mansion and knocking on the door. You know, famous rapper stuff. From there, he matches the video to his lyrics — a girl telling him he only wants to get physical with her, him agreeing, and then calling her boyfriend on the phone and telling him, “Damn bro, that’s life.”

Around the :39 mark, Terry Rozier drops in for a cameo, and we quickly shift to a nerdy white kid punching numbers on a calculator, and then back to Rozier swinging a pool cue around like a gun. We weave in and out of scenes of Bridges on the balcony and sitting around a table. His eyes are really red and he looks tired. Must be allergy season.

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Imagining David Stern’s reaction to the gun-centric lyrics on “ESPN”

Every team should be required to have two players who can rap and get on songs together. Write it into the next collective bargaining agreement.

Bridges teams up with Rozier (who is, umm, not the best NBA rapper we’ve ever heard) on a track over the NBA on ESPN theme music, and it is wild. David Stern would have suspended these two longer than Ron Artest if this happened just a decade ago.

From the very first lyric, we know exactly how this song is going to go.

“Stephen A., I got my Smith with me”

A few lines later:

“Gilbert Arenas, I’m in the locker room, my blick with me”

These two bars add to our original thesis: Bridges’ NBA career and the knowledge that comes with it adds intrigue to his rap career — not the other way around. A normal rapper who drops these lines is just being funny. When Miles Bridges does it, the thought of “Wait, is he serious?” creeps into our minds for just a split second.

No, he is not serious. Gilbert Arenas and Javaris Crittenton brought guns into the Wizards locker room in late 2009 and hardly had careers after that. Bridges is smart enough to use clever lyrics in his songs — he’s not actually going to bring a gun into the locker room.

Still, let’s imagine former NBA commissioner David Stern, who once instilled an NBA dress code because he felt his players were too “hip-hop,” watching this video with steam coming out of his ears.

LeBron bumping one of his songs in the car

Professional athletes always give the same advice: “Work in silence, don’t post your workouts, don’t get too caught up in social media.” LeBron James has never, ever followed that. This clip from 2017 was extra-revealing — Why does LeBron, one of the most athletic people in the history of the universe, need to post clips of him shirtless dancing around mid-workout to Tee Grizzley?

Because he’s LeBron frickin’ James, that’s why. LeBron really cares about music, and a post on his Instagram story of him jamming to your song is as good of an organic advertisement an artist can get. Plus, he never forgets to tag the artist. That’s huge.

Now we know RTB MB is in LeBron’s playlist, as this clip of him bumping “AF1” in the backseat further adds to the legend.

Bridges, featured on a completely different song, dropped this lyric:

“Play against ‘Bron, and sell some work where the Lakers play”

He’s also a Klutch client, due for a massive pay-day this summer. Klutch recently partnered with United Talent Agency (like Klutch, but for artists and on-screen talent). Do you see what we’re fishing for here?

And even though it’s virtually impossible for the Lakers to make any serious moves, it is guaranteed that we see an article this summer titled, “Could Miles Bridges join the Lakers?”

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Wait: Mason Plumlee is a rapper, too?

We’ve covered Miles Bridges, we’ve dealt with Terry Rozier, but can you imagine the surprise to find out that Hornets center Mason Plumlee has rapping in his past, too?

If the NBA had their own version of the NFL’s Hard Knocks, we would’ve begged for the Hornets to be the featured team this season. The world needs to see a locker room cypher with Miles Bridges, Terry Rozier, LaMelo Ball, and Mason Plumlee.

It may have already happened, as far as we know:

A lot of my childhood was spent in front of a screen playing video games — most notably, the countless hours playing NBA 2K with my cousins and friends, teaming up together online to defeat other groups of cousins and friends. I think I spent so much time on the game that some of these virtual moments became actual memories — things that happened to me, not just the character I created.

I can imagine the same is true for this YouTuber named Ryan, whose channel is an absolute goldmine for one of the most bizarre features that 2K has ever tried to pull off:

That is NOT LeBron’s voice. What the hell?

Here’s the scoop: after NBA 2K14’s mind-reading insanity, the developers brought in actual NBA players as voice actors. In NBA 2K15’s MyCareer mode, your player gets drafted and immediately meets his new mentor on the team.

Hilarity ensues.

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Here’s a list of all of the NBA players who lended their voice to 2K15:

Al Horford, Al Jefferson, Andre Drummond, Andre Iguodala, Arron Afflalo, Bradley Beal, Brandan Wright, Brandon Knight, Brook Lopez, Channing Frye, Corey Brewer, Danny Green, Dante Exum, DeMarcus Cousins, Dion Waiters, Ed Davis, Eric Gordon, Gerald Wallace, James Harden, Jimmy Butler, JJ Redick, Kendall Marshall, Kevin Durant, Markieff Morris, Mike Conley, Paul George, Robin Lopez, Roy Hibbert, Terrence Ross, Thad Young, Trey Burke, Ty Lawson, and Udonis Haslem.

Holy shit, man. I haven’t even thought about Kendall Marshall or Dante Exum in years. Hope they’re doing alright!

Some players were good at voice acting! Most were forgettable. And a few were so tremendously terrible on the mic that it’s hard to understand how 2K’s producers let it happen — those, my friends, are the ones we’re focusing on today.

One thing is abundantly clear off rip: the producers who worked on NBA 2K15 only had time for one take with each player. All of the mispronounced words, stutters, and random pauses made it to the final version of the game. There were no second chances. The producers didn’t have either the time or the stones to tell the players to start over again.

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Markieff Morris

It would be foolish to expect these guys to turn in a DiCaprio-level performance for a role in a video game their agent forced them to do. But a disinterested Keef sounds like Kanye with his jaw wired shut talking through a Darth Vader mask.

If you’ve ever been in an argument with some friends, you know that it immediately flips from disagreement to roast session as soon as you stumble on your words. No time for that in the 2K universe, though.

Morris is just reading the lines. No concern for context, dialogue, emotion or tone — just doing what he’s told to do. You have to respect it.

Al Jefferson

I think I would listen to Al Jefferson give me advice about everything?

Big Al is from Missouri, and boy does it shine through. Even though he’s clearly just reading the paper, Al was trying his best in this scene!

The way he says “Listen to the coaches” and “It’s not about the money” are pure gold. There’s a few points of dialogue where he starts ad-libbing certain words, or replacing them entirely. He ends the scene with “Okay,” but I really wish he read the “Aiiight?” that the caption signals for.

YouTube comments that made me chuckle:

Eric Gordon

Speaking of trying your best, I think Eric Gordon was trying way too hard in this performance.

Gordon does not sound how I expected him to. It sounds like he’s just doing a generic impression of a nerd (and the script does him exactly zero favors).

“That was sweets to see.” Good god. Did he just walk out of a candy shop? It’s further proof that there was only one take. Also: notice how Gordon drops his head and shrugs his shoulders when he’s done. Yeah, I can’t believe I just spoke like that, either.

This clip is even funnier if you take Gordon’s lines as sarcasm — like he caught you in the hallway to fry you for missing all of your shots.

YouTube comments that made me laugh:

Dion Waiters

This viral clip is the cream of the crop. Dion Waiters, the prized winner of the Worst Voice Acting In A Video Game Ever crown:

First thing: Dion Waiters as a character in NBA lore is inherently hilarious.

Second thing: The audio team, directors, producers, game testers, and publishers all let this slide. This deserves a 30 for 30, or at least a ten minute YouTube video.

Third thing: I’ve transcribed the clip to accurately reflect way that Waiters delivered his lines.

“Who have thought? That a young buck like you could actually… do the right thing and avoid gettin’… his sorry butt kicked out da game.”

“Sounds like a wise fella to win in this league. You need all hands on deck. Good call! Check—”

“Only thing we can control there is ourself. Forget the refs. The fans. Even the opponent. Handle your bidness and the rest will take care of itself, alright?”

Fourth thing: Waiters’ lines get cut off because he didn’t read them fast enough, which makes it even better.

Fifth thing: The way the created player walks away and says “I guess so” at the end is gold. Like, “I got no clue what the hell this dude is talking about.”

How did this happen? Almost seven years later, I still can’t believe this was released. Why did they choose Dion Waiters? Was there no other Cavalier available? They couldn’t get LeBron who (let me check) was the game’s cover athlete a year prior? Were James Jones and Iman Shumpert unavailable?

YouTube comments that made me gasp:

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NBA players are brands now, but these scenes were recorded with role players in 2014. That’s eight years ago!

Most of the players chosen for the game have never been in a commercial, let alone a motion-captured cutscene in a yearly installment of a video game series. When KD, Harden, and Paul George show up on screen, they’re awesome. But someone at 2K thought it would be a great idea to give Dion Waiters and Al Jefferson 50 lines to read, and now we’re here.

2K didn’t lose money or fan loyalty by getting Ed Davis as a voice actor. My life hasn’t been altered by Corey Brewer’s appearance in the game.

But this tiny, inconsequential moment in a video game has remained with me. Just like Dion Waiters in that cutscene, it’s stuck.

Who have thought?

In 2018, CJ McCollum etched his name into NBA meme lore with one tweet.

These three words came at McCollum’s lowest. Jennifer Williams, the woman he responded to, was just trying to protect her Warriors from another sneak diss. CJ just wanted to let her know he was trying.

After all, CJ had every right to be pissed. His Blazers had been swept in the first round of the playoffs by the Pelicans — the second time in three months that a great team was upset in the playoffs by birds. Meanwhile, the intergalactically dominant Warriors had cruised to back-to-back titles with snake/human animorph Kevin Durant in the fold.

The tweet got some laughs. McCollum was pestered with questions about Jennifer after his next playoff win, and even got to meet Jennifer before being swept in the 2019 Western Conference Finals by — you guessed it — the Warriors. When it’s time for CJ to get back on the court, he daps up Jennifer and the ESPN crew. It’s a swift resolution to an online back-and-forth from eight months prior.

He seems like an awesome guy. Non-confrontational. Willing to settle the score. But a few years later, I’m left wondering…

Is there a Jennifer that CJ wouldn’t be able to get along with?

Let’s set the scene for a few feuds between CJ McCollum and some higher-profile Jennifers.

Jennifer Lawrence

During his junior season at Lehigh, CJ McCollum begins his acting career and lands a role in the 2012 film Hunger Games. During the process, he beats out Josh Hutcherson for the role of Peeta Mellark. Jennifer Lawrence is already attached to the movie as Katniss Everdeen, the lead role.

Movies typically film out of order. On the first day of production, McCollum and Lawrence are set to film one of the final scenes in the movie. Woody Harrelson (cast to play Haymitch Abernathy) walks by McCollum on the way to the set.

“Yo, aren’t you the dude from White Men Can’t Jump?” CJ asks.

Harrelson nods.

“Your hair…” CJ starts to ask him about his hairstyle. It’s really bad. 

“Yeah, I know, it looks dumb. My nieces like the books, so when my agent brought it up…”

McCollum zones out. He can’t stop looking at his hair. He also skipped breakfast, so he’s really hungry and has a hard time focusing. An hour later, they film the scene in which Peeta and Katniss attempt to commit suicide by eating nightlock berries — which are actually just blueberries.

As they’re filming, McCollum just starts eating the berries mid-scene. The director yells “Cut!”

“What are you doing?” Lawrence asks him.

“Yeah, so I skipped breakfast, and these aren’t actually nightlock berries — they’re just blueberries.” He’s right.

“Well, can you stop eating them?” Lawrence asks again.

“Oh I’m trying, Jennifer, they’re just really frickin’ good.”

Worried about what McCollum might do next, the directors call it a day and eat the money they paid him for the role of Peeta. Josh Hutcherson happily takes the role.

Jennifer Garner

After his flameout on Hunger Games, McCollum auditions for the 2014 film Draft Day and is somehow immediately named the lead. He beat Kevin Costner out for the role of Sonny Weaver Jr., the GM of the lowly Cleveland Browns. Jennifer Garner is cast opposite McCollum as Ali Parker, his love interest who works in the team’s financial department.

On set, McCollum is about to film one of the movie’s opening scenes in which Weaver walks into the war room after trading for the no. 1 pick. Wisconsin QB Bo Callahan has widely been regarded as the top prospect in the draft, and his trade puts them in prime position to draft him. 

The stage manager makes sure everyone’s ready, and the director calls “Action!”

“I just made a trade with the Seahawks,” McCollum says as Sonny Weaver.

“For?” a staffer replies.

“The number one pick,” Weaver replies.

All of the actors on the set go ballistic. Great job by them. It’s really believable.

“You got us Bo Callahan?” another staffer asks.

“Certainly appears that way. Jennifer, you here?”

The director yells “CUT!” The line is obviously, “Ali, you here?” but CJ hasn’t remembered the characters’ names yet.

They try it a few more times. McCollum keeps reading the line wrong. The director calls for a five minute break. Jennifer Garner comes over to CJ to try and figure it out.

“From now on, I am not Jennifer. My name is Ali. You can call me Ali for the rest of our lives if you want, okay? We cannot keep messing this up. We have ten more scenes to film today.”

“I’m trying, Jennifer!” McCollum responds.

The production company eats the money they paid McCollum in advance and hands it to Kevin Costner.

Jennifer Lopez

In the days leading up to Super Bowl LIV, CJ McCollum enlists himself as a backup dancer for the halftime show starring Jennifer Lopez and Shakira. He’s hard at work every day, learning the moves, the songs and timing, and giving it his best. 

There’s one problem:

He isn’t getting a proper warmup.

In the NBA, there’s a whole team designed to work with CJ at every step of game day to ensure his peak performance. There’s meals for him. Specific stretches he has to do. Weight training. Those elastic band things that they do with their legs and shit. Shooting workouts. Film and scout sessions. By game time, he’s completely loose and ready to play NBA basketball.

On the day of the Super Bowl, CJ runs into Jennifer Lopez at breakfast prior to the last rehearsal, and lets her know his concerns.

“Hey, while I have you here, you know that section during Jenny From The Block where we walk out onto the platform and do that dance where we lean back and swing our arms like we’re in a wheelchair?”

“Yeah, I choreo’d the whole thing, man,” Lopez responds.

“My hip flexors get real tight waiting underneath the stage for so long beforehand during Shakira’s performance, and I can’t really bend that way when we—”

“Stand up and do the dance right now.”

“What?”

“Stand up, and do the dance.”

CJ stands up and starts doing the dance in the middle of breakfast. It looks more like the Cat Daddy than how she wanted. 

“Why are you bending like that? Have you been to any rehearsals? Why are you doing the Cat Daddy?”

Jennifer Lopez continues to berate CJ in front of the whole cafeteria. He’s almost in tears by the time she’s done telling him he’s the worst dancer that’s ever been on her set. She tells him to do it again. It’s still awful.

“I’m trying, Jennifer,” McCollum says through his teeth.

CJ gets kicked off set and returns to the Blazers lineup the next day, and never speaks about it again.

Maybe it’s unrealistic to expect CJ McCollum to get into it with anyone named Jennifer. There’s still Hudson, Aniston, and Granholm he could upset — but he just comes off as such a calm dude that I think he’s in the clear.

But if your name is Alex… watch out.

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The Pistons and meme culture have coincided on many occasions.

Stan Van Gundy made meme history when the Fox Sports Detroit camera crew caught him swearing at his players (not in a malicious way, simply to form the wall that would restrain the Spurs from an improbable win).

Andre Drummond had an incident where he was temporarily on the injury report because of an avocado.

Former Pistons general manager Joe Dumars became a meme himself when he traded Chauncey Billups and Antonio McDyess for a washed-up Allen Iverson, then again when he spent all of Iverson’s cap space on Ben Gordon and Charlie Villanueva, then again when he signed Josh Smith (who was waived and stretched by Stan Van Gundy, and received $5.4 million annually to not play for the Pistons between 2015 and 2020).

In 2014, Dumars was voted the worst GM in the NBA by a panel of over 200 people. Six years prior, his Pistons were in their sixth consecutive Eastern Conference Finals. Twelve days later, he stepped down from his front office duties in Detroit.

Dumars lives on through the minds of Pistons fans. It was his combo-guard skills and defense that played a part in Detroit’s back-to-back championships in 1989 and 1990. He was named NBA Executive of the Year in 2003 and built the 2004 championship team.

As important as he was to Detroit’s success, Dumars is remembered for being a bad GM, kickstarting the Pistons decade-long stretch of mediocrity. The Billups-Iverson swap was the pitfall that has left Detroit without a playoff win since 2008.

The legend of Joe Dumars can only be completed by this image, which is a meme that has all but signified how he will be remembered as an NBA executive:

“Dumars making bad deals left and right,” an early 2010s online user might comment.

To me, this image acts as a puzzle. I need to know what is going on. What circumstances would cause one man to be on two phone calls at one time?

Why did Joe Dumars have two phones?

In this picture, Dumars seems to be in his office. That computer, doesn’t it seem really old? I’m typing this piece on an iMac. There’s no way this picture was taken in the last 12 years.

People also don’t use corded phones like that, so he must be at his office. That’s a flip phone in his other hand, most certainly not an Apple Watch on his wrist. The shirt seems timeless enough, though.

Okay. I’ve gathered the setting is sometime in the early 2000s, which is when Detroit was a championship contender yearly. But where is he? He could easily be in his home office. Why would someone take a picture of him at home? What is stressful enough to make you be on the phone with two people at once?

Dumars is not ordering pizza for his wife, Debbie, who likes Little Caesars, and his son, Jordan, who is more of a Hungry Howies guy. This is some sort of work environment. (note: I’m actually not sure of which pizza chain the Dumars family prefers)

Let’s get ourselves closer. A Google image search shows that this picture was taken by Allen Einstein of Getty Images, in the Pistons war room during the 2003 draft:

Oh no! This could be the phone call in which Dumars agrees on taking Darko Miličić over Carmelo Anthony, Dwyane Wade, and Chris Bosh!

Sidebar: Darko won a ring before anyone else in the 2003 draft class, and the Pistons would not have traded for Rasheed Wallace if they drafted Melo or Bosh, and therefore probably wouldn’t have won the 2004 championship with no guarantee they would win in future years. By the property of time value, it’s better to have a championship trophy in hand than a promise for a championship in the future.

Still, the Darko selection lives on as one of the biggest draft busts in NBA history, and there might be a picture of Joe Dumars making this mistake!

Another picture from this day shows Larry Brown and the Pistons’ front office brass during the draft room. Over in the corner is Dumars, who is STILL on both phones!

I don’t know much about how the NBA Draft war room experience goes. But I have to assume that there are more people in the room at the beginning of the draft, leading up to the first selection from the team and then some people leave, and it’s only the GM, coach, and the most knowledgeable people for the second-round picks.

In this photo, it appears Bill and Karen Davidson are present for this moment. Ownership would be present only for the most important things that the franchise does, and selecting the highly regarded Miličić would be something to show up for.

Without speaking to anyone in the room, which I tried to do (I reached out to Allen Einstein, the photographer, but I did not receive a response), I think I’ve come up with the answer to the puzzle: Joe Dumars was on the phone with the league office through his desktop corded phone in his right hand, about to tell the league that they were to select Darko Miličić with the second pick in the draft. With his left hand, he’s on his personal cell, talking to one of two people:

Darko himself, asking him if he’d like to play for Detroit, or Marc Cornstein, Darko’s agent, making sure that everything is clear for Darko to be selected by the Pistons.

We know how the story ends: the three subsequent selections go on to have outstanding careers, and the Pistons still get their ring in 2004 with Darko only scoring one point in the playoffs.

In the early 2010s, Reggie Jackson was a beloved sixth man for a punchy Oklahoma City Thunder squad. Soon after, he’d butt heads with Russell Westbrook and repeatedly declared his wishes to be a starter in the press. The two would get into it several times in public and private.

When Reggie was traded to the Pistons, he became a star — bringing Detroit to the playoffs for the first time since the Best Five Alive were still in tact. Numerous injuries and poor decisions put Jackson out of favor with Pistons fans. After a contract buyout, he joined his best friend Paul George on the Clippers — and has looked awesome ever since.

Jackson averaged 17.8 points per game in the 2021 playoffs. He’s averaging 17 points per game this year. Reggie has been revitalizing his career in LA — the same city where Westbrook’s has been falling apart.

The Clippers made the Lakers pass the sticks with a 21-point blowout last night. Jackson was phenomenal: 36 points, eight rebounds, nine assists, and a game-high +44 in 35 minutes. If you think that Russ has forgotten about his beef with Reggie, eight years later… you’d be mistaken:

Both Russ and Reggie found their way to LA under very different circumstances.

Russ was considered the missing piece to a LeBron-led big three: the player that allowed the Lakers to ease their stress during the regular season and fill a role in the playoffs.

Reggie was picked up off the scrap heap, with no expectations attached to his name. He’s quickly become the player Russ was supposed to be — the third option of a championship-level big three, an offensive talent good enough to shoulder the regular season, and an extremely important playoff role player.

In other words, the best point guard in LA.

This year’s MVP race has been one of my favorite in recent memory. Giannis’ dominance over the award for the past several seasons has only been met with a few challengers: LeBron’s comeback 2020 season, Harden’s statistical masterpiece in 2019, and Jokic’s last-man-standing approach (which worked, because of both voter fatigue and The Joker’s incredible run over the past three seasons).

In 2022, there’s great cases for six players to be the MVP.

Joel Embiid, who has survived the Ben Simmons saga by leading Philly to an improbable 37-23.

Nikola Jokic, who is having another one of the best seasons by a big man ever.

Ja Morant, who has been the most electrifying guard in the league by a significant margin and has led the feel-good Grizzlies firmly into contender status.

DeMar DeRozan, who is breaking scoring records set by Wilt Chamberlain and has kept the injury-riddled Bulls near the top of the Eastern Conference gauntlet.

Giannis Antetokounmpo, who is as dominant as he’s been for the past several seasons and is hitting his free throws once again.

And then there’s Stephen Curry, the Warriors’ version of a trump card — the engine of the second best team in the West and probably the most dangerous team in the NBA when fully healthy.

I know that I didn’t make it any easier by laying out the elevator pitches. But I do know that just as we gravitate towards the players and teams we like, voters tend to gravitate towards the players we spend the most time talking about.

There’s still some fatigue surrounding Giannis, who elected to win a championship instead of chasing the MVP award for a third season in a row. Picking him feels unfair to the rest of the group. He’s out.

At a quick glance, Steph is having the worst 3PT shooting season of his career. It’s pretty easy to look past him for that, and I think voters will, too. He’s out.

We’re left with four players. Each of them can appeal to a different kind of voter.

For people who want to dive deep into the stats and present the MVP to the player that the numbers say is the MVP, it’s Nikola Jokic. (There’s nothing wrong with deciding that way!)

For those who want to choose based on narrative (a dicey word in NBA circles that basically means “Which player told the story of the season?”), the clear winner is Joel Embiid. (Nothing wrong with this, either!)

Some may strictly go on eye test, choosing the MVP based on the player that wowed them on a consistent basis. Easy to pick a winner here: Ja Morant. (Another perfectly valid method!)

For those who take all three into account, DeMar DeRozan might be the choice. He’s fourth in scoring, ridiculously efficient, having the best season of his career and jumps off the screen with his dominance in the mid-range.

No, this is not a piece designed to crown DeRozan with the MVP. I’ll leave out who I would vote for (hint: it’s not DeRozan). We want to hear who you would vote for. Leave a comment below!

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As a fan of a rebuilding team, I’ve been keeping an eye on Draft Twitter to see if one of Gonzaga’s Chet Holmgren, Duke’s Paolo Banchero, or Auburn’s Jabari Smith will break out of the pack and enter clear no. 1 pick status.

All three have held the top spot in my mind at different points this year. I’m not alone, either. It seems like every day, a different tweet pops up along the lines of “Chet Holmgren is the one, don’t overthink it.”

I start to feel bad for not being solidified on Holmgren as my top guy. And then I read this one:

And then my early ideas on Smith being the no. 1 prospect are confirmed, until I remember the conviction in which many speak about Paolo Banchero:

I know. I’m confused too.

There are four teams — Detroit, Orlando, Houston, Oklahoma City — that are vying to draft one of these three players. One of them will be left out. That’s a sadness I hope to avoid as a Pistons fan, but with last year’s luck, my expectations are minimal.

With Chet Holmgren, you’re getting a skinny-as-hell seven footer with guard skills and incredible rim protection. His frame may hold him back, but Holmgren makes up for it with incredible length and timing when contesting shots. On offense, he never misses inside the paint and is comfortable shooting with movement and bringing the ball up the floor. The only issue: He’s playing at Gonzaga in the WCC, and has dominated a weaker conference. Until tournament time, we don’t know if Chet can do it against better competition.

Auburn’s Jabari Smith has been my favorite prospect for most of the year. At 6’10, Smith is a modern NBA four with a picture-perfect jump shot and a mean streak around the rim. His future role on an NBA roster is already apparent. At worst, he’s an impactful 3&D forward you don’t need run plays for. At best, he’s a premier shot-maker from the Jayson Tatum School of Big Wings. The main issue with Smith is that he struggles to blow by or even attempt to get by defenders from the perimeter. There’s some Michael Porter Jr. here with his tendency to settle.

Paolo Banchero came into this season with the crown, and some might say he’s never lost it. Banchero can be a true do-it-all forward on offense: knocking down shots off the dribble and catch, finishes with both finesse and power, and rare playmaking chops. He’s listed at 6’10, 250 pounds, which is certainly an NBA frame. The main issue with Banchero is that he isn’t consistently engaged. He’ll fall asleep on a cutter, take a bad shot out of the high post, or stray from using his size on a smaller opponent.

I’ve laid out the elevator pitches for each of Chet, Jabari, and Paolo. But who do you like best? Let us know.

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On Wednesday, we talked about the seven Eastern Conference contenders: Milwaukee, Brooklyn, Miami, Philadelphia, Chicago, Cleveland, and Boston.

Today, we’re going to run through the biggest questions for the Western Conference contenders. Checking the standings and scanning my brain, a first question immediately rises:

Are there more than three Western Conference teams who could actually win the title?

I’m not sure there are. I have legitimate concerns about how Dallas, Utah, and Denver could make it to the Finals (without their best players going absolutely nuclear). The Timberwolves and Clippers are still at least a year away. And the Lakers have to survive the public romance between LeBron and Cleveland before they survive a seven game series… so they’re out, too.

That leaves us with three teams!

Memphis Grizzlies

Can Ja Morant keep this up?

He’s averaging 27 points, six rebounds, and seven assists per game this year. He’s leading the league in shot attempts inside ten feet — at 6’3, 170 pounds.

In the playoffs, help-side defenders are going to come over a bit harder in the regular season. Nothing about Ja has shown that he’s afraid to back down from physicality. But small guards can only take so many hits, bumps, and bruises, and Morant’s constant rack attacks may come back to bite him.

The parallels between Morant and early-career Derrick Rose are stunning, but it was around this time in Rose’s career when the knee injuries started to pile up. Morant is certainly better at switching gears and protecting himself. Still, I can’t help myself from gasping every time he gets a little too high in the air.

The Grizzlies have shown us what they can be without Morant in the lineup. Ja just takes them to their highest outcomes, and they can’t reach the Conference Finals without him.

Golden State Warriors

Is Jonathan Kuminga the secret ingredient to another Warriors’ title?

The core of Steph-Klay-Draymond at full strength is indescribable. Add Andrew Wiggins into the mix, and you’ve got a solid veterans all around. Jordan Poole has shown us what he can be in an advanced role and plays a great safety valve in Steph’s rest.

Jonathan Kuminga, the no. 7 pick in 2021, might be the super role player that pushes the Warriors over the top. At the All-Star break, the Warriors dropped a five minute cut of Kuminga’s best plays — slashing, rim-protecting, and posterizing slams that give Golden State an injection of youthful athleticism that they’ve been sorely missing.

I can imagine Kuminga flying in for a tip dunk in a close game, or bodying up a perimeter player to shut down an opponent’s set. Kuminga and the Warriors have grown comfortable with each other this season. That trust just might swing a playoff series if he’s given the opportunity.

Phoenix Suns

Is Chris Paul cursed by the Basketball Gods, destined to never win a championship?

Last weekend, TNT reported that Chris Paul would be out for the next six to eight weeks due to an avulsion fracture in his right thumb. That would put him out for the rest of the regular season, with a possibility his first game back is Game 1 of the first round.

This is the same Chris Paul that hurt his shoulder in last year’s playoffs; the same Chris Paul that knocked the 2018 Rockets out of the Finals with a hamstring injury; and the same Chris Paul that battled several injuries in key playoff moments with the Clippers.

Phoenix made sure that CP3 got paid. But did they know that they were giving $40 million to the no. 1 player on the Basketball Gods shit list?

I’ve grown to love Chris Paul, and I’d be ecstatic if the Suns won the championship this year. I just really need to know if Chris Paul is cursed, or if he’s just getting this season’s injury out of the way early.

Tomorrow, the final stretch of the season kicks off. Toilet bowl teams like Detroit, Orlando, and Houston are vying for draft position. Middling teams like New Orleans and Sacramento are racing for the Play-In tournament. And this year, 10 of the 30 teams have a real argument for contender status.

Let’s run through each of the ten teams and try to answer the biggest questions surrounding their situation. First, the East!

Brooklyn Nets

Will Ben Simmons become a 40% three point shooter on high volume when he inevitably switches to his right hand?

Everyone knows that Simmons was purposefully avoiding shooting from the perimeter in a grand scheme to undermine the Sixers. He is 5-34 from deep in his career, but ten of those attempts have been heaves. Simmons clearly had no intention to become the perimeter threat the Sixers needed him to be — why would he, when he was constantly bullied by Joel Embiid — and he exacerbated the problem by shooting with the wrong hand.

Before his Ringer fame, Kevin O’Connor took a deep dive into Ben Simmons’ right hand dominance at SB Nation. What he discovered was fascinating: left-handed jump shooter Ben Simmons used his right hand over 81% of the time on non-jump shots.

The writing is on the wall: Brooklyn fleeced the Sixers with a promise from Simmons that he’ll become the right-handed shooter he was always destined to be, giving the Nets a 6’10 point guard who can score from anywhere on the court and guard anyone in the league.

Milwaukee Bucks

Is Giannis the most unstoppable playoff player ever (in theory)?

The Bucks made it to the Finals after demolishing the Heat, barely surviving the Nets, working through the Hawks, and letting Giannis carry them to victory over the Suns.

In recent years, stories surfaced of Giannis’ determination to become a better free throw shooter — even a rumor that involved a drill in which the mother of his child ran sprints when he missed free throws. But in last year’s playoffs fans counted the seconds it took Giannis to get through his routine. A career 71% free throw shooter, Giannis went 11-18, 12-17, and 17-19 in the Finals — making nine per game.

This year, Giannis is the same beast he has been for the past three years, but with an improved touch on his jumper and around the rim. Something tells me we’ll get to the playoffs, and Giannis will destroy everything in his path once again.

Cleveland Cavaliers

What will Jarrett Allen wear to playoff games?

The internet roasted Jarrett Allen for his outfit on Friday night:

I don’t think Allen looks great, but it’s a simple outfit — much better than whatever the hell James Harden wore when he rung the bell last week.

Does this put public pressure on Allen to become a fashionista? I sure hope so. Allen looks like Stretch from the NBA Street series, but he dresses like my friend Riley. He makes $20 million a year — give me some colorful pants, at least!

Chicago Bulls

Is DeMar DeRozan the best shooting guard in Bulls history?

I didn’t get a chance to watch the NBA’s 75th Anniversary ceremony, so I’m not sure who any of the greatest players in NBA history are — but I do know that there’s no way in hell there’s ever been a Bulls shooting guard anywhere close to the level of 2022 DeMar DeRozan.

I don’t know who Wilt Chamberlain is, but he must have been pretty good, too.

Boston Celtics

Was Brad Stevens the smartest GM at the deadline by re-acquiring Daniel Theis?

I present to you, the Theis Seal™:

Jayson Tatum used to get six points a game off of Daniel Theis acting like he’s posting up in the middle of his driving lane — now, he’s back to do it again.

The Celtics have been the NBA’s best defensive team over the last 15 games. They’ve smashed bad teams. With Theis giving his guards easy points again, who’s to say they can’t become the best offensive team for the rest of the regular season?

Miami Heat

Why don’t we think of Jimmy Butler among the funniest players in the NBA?

This clip took me by surprise. As a self-proclaimed NBA meme connoisseur, how did I not know Jimmy was this funny?

Young guys like Anthony Edwards and LaMelo Ball are hilarious. Klay Thompson’s awkward humor might make him the NBA’s comedy champ, but Jimmy Butler is quickly rising up the ranks for me.

Bonus question: Did you know Miami is tied for the no. 1 seed in the East?

Philadelphia 76ers

Can the Sixers overcome Doc Rivers?

The Harden-Simmons swap was a massive win for the Sixers. Two big-bodied playmakers destroying everything in their path, with Tyrese Maxey as a third option and Tobias Harris doing his thing. The Sixers are lacking some depth, so there’s no reason why Doc Rivers shouldn’t stagger the minutes so one of Embiid or Harden is on the floor at all times.

But this is Doc Rivers we’re talking about — the only coach to blow three 3-1 leads in the playoffs, the coach that couldn’t corral numerous iterations of the Clippers and allowed his team to fold against the Hawks last season. It came as a surprise to us all when Rivers was named one of the 15 greatest coaches of all time. Let’s see if Harden is good enough to help the Sixers beat their opponents, the refs, and their own coach.

All-Star Weekend is over. On Thursday, we talked about the four things to look for during the festivities. How did we do?

✅ Myles Garrett being way too damn athletic for the Celebrity Game

✅ The new Rising Stars format was absolutely incredible

❌ From Thursday: “I know that KAT is immediately out.” Yikes.

✅ The closing group for Team LeBron was himself, DeRozan, Curry, Giannis, and Jarrett Allen.

I’ll take it. This was one of the best years of All-Star in recent memory (outside of the horrid Dunk Contest). Let’s laugh about it!

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The Bachelor’s Matt James forgetting he has women on his team

Watch his hand, and her face:

Nah, I don’t think we can let that slide, Matt. What’s going on here? You were such a standup guy on Season 25. Wait, our producer is telling us that the matter is resolved?

Cole Anthony, doing whatever it takes

This is just that simple, stupid humor that makes All-Star worth watching.

The scene opens up on our subject, who we quickly learn is at free throw line with his team about to lose the game. At :05, his pants are down. It doesn’t matter. The shot falls. It was a meaningless moon.

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Scottie Barnes and Tyrese Maxey, joyful

The NBA introduced the Clorox Clutch Challenge as a part of Rising Stars. It’s basically a hot-shot competition in which players have to make five shots on the court faster than their opponents. A super smart person at the NBA paired Tyrese Maxey and Scottie Barnes together and kept them mic’d up.

The result is glorious:

Scottie went 0-6 from five feet away. The full performance was almost as cringe as Ayesha Curry’s HBO-sponsored segment (we’re not linking that).

The amazing friendship of Luka Doncic and Nikola Jokic

These two have been linked together for a couple years now, making the most out of their time together in the Bubble and various All-Star appearances.

The fun didn’t stop in Cleveland, and no, Luka, you can’t sue your friend for hitting you with a miniature basketball:

It keeps going:

I’m dreaming of a scenario in which these two international all-timers play together. When asked about being teammates with each other, Jokic replied:

“Off the court, I think we're doing really good job. But we're going to see on the court. I don't know how we're going to do it because he's not athletic, I'm not athletic, so I don't know how we're going to match.”

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Jalen Green, Dunk Contest catfish

Any reasonable person would have told you that Jalen Green was made for the Dunk Contest. Incredible bounce, swagger, and a social media following to cater to. That is, until he actually did it.

Wait for Shaq’s face:

Team Durant gambling in the locker room

The stuff of legends: Embiid dealing a card game with hundreds on the line. Trae, Book, LaVine, and DeRozan around the table. What game are they playing? All signs point to Go Fish.

I have more questions. Why isn’t anyone else playing? Is this proof that nobody likes Rudy Gobert? Why did Embiid deal himself first?

Most importantly, who would win? Lucky for us, TNT snuck the answer into the broadcast!

Michael Jordan is not joking

It was unclear if MJ was going to make it to All-Star — he hadn’t confirmed or denied it, and it was paramount that he was there as the most important piece of the NBA’s 75 Greatest Players ceremony.

(Once I saw the clip of Embiid dealing, I knew he’d be there.)

In this clip, we see MJ chopping it up with an incredible group: James Harden, Jason Kidd, Ray Allen, Dwyane Wade, Gary Payton, and Magic Johnson — who Jordan immediately calls old and challenges to a one-on-one.

“Where your shoes at? We can go play one-on-one, me and you, right now.”

“DAMN!”

By the end of the clip, it’s clear: Michael Jordan was not frickin’ joking:

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All-Star is here. The participants are set. It’s time to have some corporate-sponsored fun!

The NBA’s best and brightest will show their skills in Cleveland this weekend, with six events on the schedule: the Celebrity Game, the Rising Stars Challenge, the Skills Challenge, the 3-Point Contest, the Dunk Contest, and Sunday’s 71st annual All-Star Game.

Here’s five things you should be paying close attention to during All-Star Weekend:

Myles Garrett ruining the fun of the Celebrity Game

Cleveland Browns defensive end Myles Garrett is one of the baddest motherfuckers on planet Earth. This man is 6’4, 271 pounds and recorded a 41-inch vertical leap at the NFL combine in 2017. He also struck a quarterback in the head with his own helmet in the 2019-20 season.

There isn’t a participant on either team that even comes close to matching Garrett’s athleticism (sorry, The Bachelor’s Matt James). Will he posterize 5’9 Olympic skateboarder Nyjah Huston? Could he act on the country’s general disdain for Machine Gun Kelly and truck him to the ground like he’s Mason Rudolph?

It is not fair that Myles Garrett is playing in this game — which makes it an even better watch.

The new Rising Stars format

This year, there’s four Rising Stars teams consisting of 12 rookies, 12 sophomores, and four G League Ignite players.

The rosters are loaded with talent and intriguing combinations of players — Cade Cunningham, Evan Mobley, and Franz Wagner together; the ferocity of Anthony Edwards and Isaiah Stewart in tandem with notably quiet guys like Tyrese Haliburton and Saddiq Bey; the joys of LaMelo Ball, 18-year old Scoot Henderson, and Scottie Barnes on the fast break; and similarly, the premise of Josh Giddey spraying the ball around to Tyrese Maxey, Jalen Green and Cole Anthony.

Two games will be played to 50, and the championship game will be played to 24. This is going to be amazing.

Steph Curry’s absence from the 3-Point Contest

Steph is out of the field this year. You’ll have to make your pick from a lineup of CJ McCollum, Trae Young, Zach LaVine, Desmond Bane, Karl-Anthony Towns, Fred VanVleet, Luke Kennard, and Patty Mills.

At first glance, I’m not sure who I’d pick. I know that KAT is immediately out. Trae seems to be a safe bet, although I think he thrives from the randomness of actual NBA action and might not be a drill shooter like this requires.

Final prediction: Luke Kennard.

Who is on the floor for Team LeBron when the Elam Ending kicks in?

If you’re unfamiliar, the NBA adopted Ball State professor Nick Elam’s creation in 2020 — a game mode in which the clock turns off, and the two teams play to a target score. This makes it so every game ends on a game-winner, and there’s no use for end-of-game fouling.

In 2020, it was anti-climactic — Anthony Davis hit a free throw to win it — but the teams were actually trying. It was ten of the best players in the world, giving it their all for about thirty minutes! Kyle Lowry took several charges in the All-Star Game!

There’s a problem: LeBron drafted too many guys who would be unhappy sitting out at the end of a close game. Which of LeBron, Giannis, Steph, DeRozan, Jokic, Luka, or CP3 will be off the court when it’s time to win?

Giannis is a cheat code. CP3 can manage the game. Luka, Jokic and DeRozan are three of the best closers in the NBA. But that invites a world in which both LeBron and Steph are off the floor when they’re trying to win — and unless both are saving their bodies for real NBA games, I don’t think they’ll be okay with it.

Last night, I made the short trip to Wayne State Fieldhouse (home of the G League’s Motor City Cruise) to get an up-close, in-person look at the NBA’s latest developmental experiment: The G League Ignite.

For those unfamiliar, the G League is the NBA’s minor league system. The NBA has invested millions of dollars into the Ignite, a special team for NBA prospects looking for an alternative pathway to the NBA. Hundreds of thousands of dollars are given to top-billed youngsters to spend their first year out of high school in an NBA-sanctioned system, and the results have shown for themselves — Jalen Green and Jonathan Kuminga (the headliners of last year’s inaugural Ignite squad) were both selected in the top ten of the 2021 NBA Draft.

The second iteration of the Ignite are a completely different squad. Let’s talk about three prospects who made a lasting impression.

Jaden Hardy

The Detroit native was brought in to be the face of this year’s Ignite team, but he struggled in front of his home crowd. I was only wowed by a few of Hardy’s tough buckets, and he finished with 19 points on 9-21 shooting in 33 minutes — with no free throw attempts.

I’m a bit concerned about Hardy. He made zero attempt to get downhill in the half court, consistently settling for step-back mid-range jumpers. That’s fine if you’re Anfernee Simons and can make them at a 50% clip, but it’s not the best look with NBA scouts and executives courtside. Zero free throw attempts in 33 minutes for a modern NBA guard is concerning.

The on-ball flashes were there — he can definitely start getting busy in isolation — but it’s the 95% of the game where he didn’t have the ball that is worrisome. Lots of standing, casually running actions instead of being aggressive with his movements, and a consistent struggle to create something out of nothing. The NBA is saturated with guards more explosive and less selfish than Jaden Hardy.

Dyson Daniels

I didn’t know too much about Dyson Daniels before I sat down at my seat. Now, I think I want to know everything.

Daniels resembles a computer-generated player on NBA 2K. He’s listed at 6-6 on the Ignite roster — I’d bet my next few paychecks he’s closer to 6-8. He looked fake. I’m not sure why I couldn’t comprehend his body.

The Ignite have Daniels initiating some of their offense, even in lineups with the other guard prospects. He had a few passing flashes, including a baseline bounce-skip to the corner in the first half. I could never tell what position Daniels was playing on either side of the ball — but I think that’s a good thing! He ran their offense from different spots on the floor, came off screens and set them, and didn’t stand around. Defensively, Daniels covered a lot of things up for his teammates — even stepping over in help-side to emphatically swat the ground-bound Luka Garza. He’s going to earn a vacuum cleaner-adjacent nickname pretty soon into his NBA career, I think.

I can’t get over how fake he looked on the court.

Scoot Henderson

Scoot turned 18 just thirteen days ago. He’s a year younger than the rest of the 2022 Draft-eligible prospects, and all signs point to him playing a second season with the Ignite next year.

There’s a reason this kid is already in the NBA pipeline at such a young age.

He’s gonna be so damn good.

The Ignite started all five of their draft-eligible prospects with Pistons GM Troy Weaver sitting courtside. But Scoot Henderson checked into the game midway through the first quarter, and it was time to lean forward into my seat.

Before the scoring and athleticism, the first thing that stood out about Scoot was his body. Listed at 6’2, 195 lbs, let me tell you — he is all muscle. Players on the Motor City Cruise just bounced off him when trying to put their shoulder down. When Scoot has the ball, defenders bounce off him. Let me remind you: this kid just turned 18.

In the second half, he stole Jaden Hardy’s bag of step-back jumpers, but also offered line-drive rim attacks and a much better pace in his actions. He’s a nightmare in transition and floats at the rim. I can’t help but see a more in-control, suped-up Ja Morant in his game.

There’s a world in which Scoot Henderson isn’t a top-3 pick in 2023. Right now, we are not in that world. He scored an effortless 19 points and was guarded by the Cruise’s wings for the entirety of his minutes.

You’re going to see teams blatantly tank for a top pick in 2023. Henderson is worth it.

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James Harden rung the bell in Philadelphia last night wearing a ridiculous vest/dress/pajama concoction of clothing. He also set February 25th as a return date from his hamstring “injury.”

Also — more Daryl Morey loving James Harden content. I just can’t get enough.

Yesterday’s piece on recently traded players who should make you happy.

Giannis dropped 50 again. Could you imagine dropping James Naismith into courtside seats to a 2022 Milwaukee Bucks game?

The trade deadline holds a tremendous amount of intrigue. We spent our week with our phones always in reach, hoping that a notification might pop up.

These next few weeks after the deadline — where traded players have made their flights, passed their physicals, chosen jersey numbers and suited up in their new kits — hold just as much if not more intrigue.

How will the new-look Sixers and Nets perform?

Will Domantas Sabonis fit in Sacramento?

Is Luka Doncic going to hate Spencer Dinwiddie as much as we think he will?

Questions, without answers. That’s the period we’re in right now. Still, we enjoy seeing the cute pictures and videos of players meeting their new teammates. It makes us happy to engage in the mental gymnastics that come with roster reshuffling.

Most of all, we just want to see what it looks like. The Twitter notifications truly are bombs — now, let’s see what remains.

71 players were traded this season. Let’s highlight a few who make us happy!

Torrey Craig

Phoenix added Craig in the middle of last season, and his versatility helped the Suns throughout their Finals run. At the deadline, Phoenix — the best team in the NBA — did not have to do a damn thing. Instead, they got better by bringing back Torrey Craig’s defense.

Suns fans didn’t forget about you, Torrey:

Tyrese Haliburton

The Pacers-Kings trade was the most shocking deal of the deadline. Tyrese Haliburton did not think he’d be traded — and when he found out, he sobbed.

From Haliburton’s incredible piece in The Players’ Tribune:

When my agent called, I was just finishing up breakfast at my house, and the first thing I thought was that maybe he was calling to give me the inside scoop on some players our team was looking into getting.

Nah.

“Hey man, I just wanted to get in touch because I think you might be getting traded.” 

I honestly thought he was joking. It was like, Come on now. They’re not trading me. Get out of here. But two seconds later, when it became clear that, actually, he wasn’t joking … I mean, I know this might sound like I’m being dramatic, but you know when you get the news that something bad has happened to a family member or a close friend? And it feels like for a few seconds your heart almost stops? Like there’s just a hollow feeling all through your body? That’s kind of what it was like. 

He’s the face of the Pacers for years to come. He looks so good in their uniforms, and he’s been ballin’ from the second he got there.

James Harden

The Sixers have made a huge deal out of the Harden trade, and rightfully so: Him and Tyrese Maxey are the first Sixers guards who can shoot, dribble, and pass since… Allen Iverson?

@Sixers flooded social media with pictures and videos from Harden’s first practice with his new squad. It’s absolute gold, with no content better than this:

Harden always looks happy on his first day on the job. Something tells me this time, it’ll last.

Marvin Bagley III

Bagley may never be able to live down his draft slot. The no. 2 pick in the 2018 draft was selected ahead of Luka Doncic, Jaren Jackson Jr., Trae Young, Mikal Bridges, Shai Gilgeous-Alexander, Miles Bridges, and Michael Porter Jr. — all players who are in line to make much more than the qualifying offer next season.

That’s okay! Even though he’s fallen behind his peers, Bagley gets a new opportunity in Detroit to fill a role and earn his second contract on a team he’s happy to be a part of.

Bagley and his family were excited to be Pistons. They had jerseys ready within 15 minutes of the trade’s announcement:

Derrick White

White hopped off the plane and immediately became one of the most valuable Celtics. Boston gave up quite a bit to get him — Josh Richardson, Romeo Langford, and two first round picks — but White is the exact player the Celtics needed.

The Celtics have roared to the six seed. They’ve made defense their identity, and won nine of the last ten games by stomping bad teams. White brings the connectivity, decision-making, and scoring punch that lacked in lineups with Tatum, Brown, and Smart.

To join a team that desperately needed your services has to feel good. If Boston keeps this up, their addition of White might be the most important move of the deadline.

The new Brooklyn Nets

I’m convinced that the Nets’ uniforms make players look way cooler than they normally are. Seth Curry and Andre Drummond have no business looking this cool:

Curry played his ass off — 23 points, 7 rebounds, and a performance that shows how incredible of a fit he’ll be next to Simmons, Durant, and Irving.

Speaking of Simmons, is that… a smile?

Links

ESPN’s Jonathan Givony and Mike Schmitz on Shaedon Sharpe, the mysterious Kentucky prospect NBA scouts have fallen in love with.

Yesterday’s piece on the Sacramento Kings, and a roster that suddenly and finally makes sense.

The Ringer’s Rob Mahoney on how the Porzingis trade was really about Luka Doncic.

One more time: Tyrese Haliburton’s piece in The Players’ Tribune is a must read. He dives into the emotions and process of being traded, and the support he received from his teammates and friends — along with a hilarious peek inside an NBA players-only group chat.

The process of trading a 21-year-old guard on the verge of stardom is not an easy one to align with. Especially one who makes plays like this:

But the earliest results of the Kings’ deadline decisions are proving that sometimes, you just need to swing the bat.

It would’ve been very difficult to write about the Kings just a week ago. Tyrese Haliburton was the one beam of light of a franchise stuck in the darkness. The roster around him made little sense, as he was stuck in lineups with multiple other point guards and too many average bigs. De’Aaron Fox, Sacramento’s star-by-committee, took a frustrating step back in efficiency. The team needed a star, and Haliburton filled the role. In doing so, the Kings may have set themselves up for an even brighter future.

The two deals Sacramento made during deadline week allowed them to turn Haliburton, Buddy Hield, Tristan Thompson, Marvin Bagley III, and various second round picks into Domantas Sabonis, Justin Holiday, Jeremy Lamb, Donte DiVincenzo, Trey Lyles, and Josh Jackson.

Outside of Sabonis and DiVincenzo, some of those names may give you pause. We’re really declaring Sacramento a team on the rise by adding Josh Jackson? Yes, we are — because the Kings suddenly and finally look like an NBA team.

The Kings’ three most important developmental pieces were point guards, all deserving of minutes but capped out because of each other’s presence. Now, the Kings run their offense through a big man who makes guards better. De’Aaron Fox tends to put his head down on the way to the rim, but those possessions are few and far between now that they have Sabonis to make most of the decisions on offense.

Sabonis’ first game in Sacramento paints an awesome picture of what the future of their offense might look like:

The Haliburton-Sabonis swap also added Jeremy Lamb and Justin Holiday to the Kings’ growing list of bucket-getters. Both already have several years’ worth of chemistry with Sabonis’ high-post operation and low-post punishment. By sending Marvin Bagley III to Detroit, they opened up the space to bring in Donte DiVincenzo (who almost was sent to Sacramento as part of a tampering-riddled backdoor deal with Milwaukee) and Trey Lyles as impactful bench pieces to get a look at before next season.

There were a lot of S-words to call the Kings’ franchise before these moves: stupid, shitty, stuck, straining, sunk, silly, stagnant and suffocating.

Now? The word might be smart.

Sacramento can close games around Sabonis and Fox with Jeremy Lamb, Harrison Barnes, and either Richaun Holmes, Justin Holiday, or Donte DiVincenzo depending on the night. On the bench, Davion Mitchell has room to develop as a backup guard and defensive hound. Any of Trey Lyles, Terence Davis, Chimezie Metu or Damian Jones can give them something off the bench.

They might not have the ammo to make any serious noise in the West as currently constructed — this year or next. But after years of laying dormant, too good for a top pick but too bad to make the postseason, the Kings finally chose a direction that might allow them to shake their reputation.

Sacramento has been the team where good players go to die. Now, they just might have a chance to live up their franchise’s namesake.

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I’ll say it: Tyrese Haliburton’s Super Bowl Sunday was better than Cooper Kupp’s. 22 points (6-12 from three) and 16 assists.

Luka scored 96 points in two games: 51 against the Clippers and then 45 also against the Clippers. I think Luka hates the Clippers.

Ethan Strauss on Adrian Wojnarowki’s weird week of dismissing the obvious Harden-Sixers talks. (House of Strauss is a must-read if you care about the business/insider component of the NBA.)

Daryl Morey and James Harden, reunited with a big hug. Aww.

Joel Embiid with the clear Dunk of the Year. (Is Jarrett Allen the hardest player to dunk on?)

All week, ESPN’s Adrian Wojnarowski had been downplaying the significance of the Harden-to-Philly rumors, saying that the two teams hadn’t engaged in any meaningful dialogue regarding a trade.

He changed his tune real frickin’ quick on Thursday morning.

Woj reported what may be the wildest story of his career: James Harden wanted to be in Philadelphia, and he wanted it to happen before the trade deadline, but he was afraid of the backlash that might come from formally asking out of two different teams in consecutive seasons.

What?

Is this high school?

By now, you know what happened next: Nets GM Sean Marks and Sixers GM Daryl Morey naked mud wrestled their way to a trade that would Ben Simmons, Seth Curry, Andre Drummond, a 2022 unprotected first round pick and a 2027 protected first round pick to Brooklyn in exchange for James Harden and Paul Millsap.

For just this one moment, before we’ve seen anything on an actual basketball court, this is a damn near perfect win-win trade for both sides.

James Harden, it seems, owes his Hall of Fame-bound career to working with Daryl Morey, and he knows it. The Sixers didn’t send any of Tyrese Maxey, Matisse Thybulle or Tobias Harris in the deal. That means that Harden has a clear five to work with, and it’s about as good of a fit as you’d hope for the modern NBA.

Two incredible, bail-out scorers in Harden and Embiid, with Maxey and a now optimized version of Tobias Harris not too far behind. Two of the best defenders in the world in Embiid and Thybulle. Five guys who can dribble and pass and make good decisions. (I’m looking at you, Tobias Harris. Get your shit together!)

In Brooklyn, adding Ben Simmons and Seth Curry in place of Harden brings a whole new dimension to their roster. Simmons’ ball-handling and defense without the shooting is exactly what the Nets needed. He’s nearly a perfect defender for the modern NBA, with the size and quickness to guard nearly every player in the league. Seth Curry has been the Sixers’ second best player this season and can play both on and off-ball — depending on if Kyrie’s allowed to play that night.

These Nets at full strength might be as dangerous as we imagined the previous iteration to be. I can see Simmons roving around the floor with the ball, screening and cutting and flashing to help any of Irving, Curry, Durant or Aldridge get open. The addition of Andre Drummond gives them someone who resembles a center — and by stealing him, the Sixers are now without a proper backup to Embiid.

The NBA is a smart business, and yesterday’s trade deadline was followed by LeBron and KD’s All-Star Draft. Both superstars went back and forth picking their teams, but by the end, just two names remained on the board: Rudy Gobert and James Harden.

It kept going. LeBron asked the crew if Harden was healthy, knowing he’s missed the last few games with the world’s tightest left hamstring. Barkley yelled, “He’s healthy now, he got traded!” That’s the only time KD smiled.

Ernie asked the crew if they’d like to make any trades now that their All-Star rosters were finalized. Durant asked LeBron what he’d like for Darius Garland, and was swiftly met with “You not done making trades for the day?”

If you had any doubts about who was happier about the trade between KD and Embiid, you had your answer long before Durant refused to smile.

Embiid stopped by his biggest enemies’ funeral today, just to make sure that Ben Simmons’ time in a Sixers uniform was dead:

When the Nets beat the Sixers this season, KD waved the Sixers off the court. When they met again, Embiid waved KD off the court. Brooklyn visits Philadelphia on March 10th. Does Ben Simmons show his face in front of a ruthless Sixers crowd? I think he should.

He needs to rip the bandaid off — especially if these two teams meet in the playoffs.

Simmons needs to beat the Sixers, and wave them off their home court.

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Links

Just one link today: Yaron Weitzman’s incredible breakdown of the Harden-Sixers saga from start to finish, detailing their relationship and how Morey accidentally played the Simmons situation perfectly.

Yesterday’s NBA trade deadline was a whirlwind. We’ll have a comprehensive piece reacting to all of the deals for you on Monday, once the dust is fully settled.

Once a promising young star who refused to let his franchise’s past define him, now a distant memory.

It’s really, really hard to find a trade bleaker for an NBA fanbase than yesterday’s blockbuster Kings-Pacers trade.

Tyrese Haliburton, a 21-year-old guard and the clear third-best player from the 2020 draft class, is on his way to Indiana alongside sharpshooter Buddy Hield and former almost Kardashian in-law Tristan Thompson. The Pacers sent back Domantas Sabonis, a 25-year-old two-time All-Star in his prime, alongside veteran guards Jeremy Lamb and Justin Holiday.

Sacramento landed a great player who will make their team better this season and in the future. Indiana brings in a young guard who fits their new timeline.

But that’s not just any young guard. It’s Tyrese Haliburton.

I laughed out loud at this tweet, because it might actually be true: A team that has not made the playoffs in over 15 years traded away a 21-year-old guard who just so happens to have been the only dude on the team making winning plays on a consistent basis.

Since December 17th, Tyrese Haliburton is averaging 17.3 points, 9.7 assists, and a 60.3% true shooting percentage in 24 games. That’s the sign of a young player who is figuring things out.

We also remember Haliburton’s 38-point performance in Philadelphia just over a week ago, in which he did everything you’d want a guard to do: get the team into their offense, make the right pass, knock down open shots, be aggressive to score, stay in front of their man, execute the team’s defensive scheme, anticipate steals, and avoid fouling.

On Saturday, Haliburton dropped 17 dimes en route to a convincing victory over the Thunder.

Tuesday afternoon, he was gone.

Trading away young players who are clearly on the verge of stardom is just about the worst thing an NBA franchise can do. No matter how good you think Domantas Sabonis is, can you imagine a world where him and De’Aaron Fox push the Kings to a tier anywhere near Denver, Utah, or Memphis — let alone Golden State or Phoenix?

Sacramento might have more deals coming. Harrison Barnes, Richaun Holmes and Marvin Bagley III could all be on the move — but do we expect the return for any of them to net the Kings a player of Tyrese Haliburton’s caliber?

I might be overrating Tyrese Haliburton. Maybe he won’t become a superstar, or even an All-Star. Still, I can’t get behind the process of jettisoning a young guard with a positive attitude who made winning plays and enjoyed being in Sacramento. Yes. Sacramento.

Let me be very clear: I am not anti-Sabonis. He is very, very good, and was clearly done playing for the Pacers. The Kings landed the best player in the deal. Don’t forget that!

Kings fans aren’t going to forget about this trade. Why should they? For every accolade Tyrese Haliburton racks up in his career, Sacramento will always have a piece of him to hold onto:

The fact that he was once theirs.

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A culture shift in New Orleans

The Pelicans acquired CJ McCollum, Larry Nance, and Tony Snell from Portland yesterday in exchange for Josh Hart, Nickeil Alexander-Walker, Tomas Satoransky, Didi Louzada, a 2022 first round pick (protected 5-14) and two second round picks.

Let’s focus on the New Orleans side of things. By adding McCollum and Nance, they’re making it very clear that they see themselves as a Play-In team. We still don’t know anything about a potential Zion return, but a group of CJ-Graham-Ingram-Herb-Jonas is kinda good!

Even better — the Pelicans had Josh Hart and Nickeil Alexander-Walker courtside for last night’s victory against the Rockets. After the game, the entire team got to say their goodbyes:

That’s so cool. It’s something I’ve never seen before — a team allowing themselves to make a public display of appreciation for some guys they’re going to miss. Before a tribute video or a post on social, the players made it known that they’re going to miss their friends.

Tell me that would’ve happened under Stan Van Gundy.

Links

ESPN on Bradley Beal’s decision to receive season-ending surgery on his wrist.

The NBA named their top 15 coaches in league history.

Bones Hyland gettin’ busy on Kemba Walker. A sheesh moment.

Dave McMenamin on the Lakers’ urgency to make a move — and a Russell Westbrook clip that tells you everything you need to know about their culture.

Giannis’ 44-point, 14-rebound, 8-assist domination against the Lakers. He went 17 of 20 from the field!

The All-Star Saturday Night contestants are here. Early picks: Team Rooks in the Skills Challenge, Zach LaVine in the three-point contest, and Jalen Green in the Dunk Contest.

Boston opened a can of whoop ass on Brooklyn — a 28-2 run to start the game en route to a 35-point blowout. Patty Mills told the media James Harden went through shootaround, but head coach Steve Nash refuted it. Does that mean he’s a Sixer?

Explaining the NBA trade deadline to someone who doesn’t watch sports might be among the hardest things to do.

“So in the NBA there’s trades, where a team can trade one of their players to a different team for their players, and also they can give the other teams the chance to bring in new players in the future.”

“Okay…”

“So the Cavaliers traded away Ricky Rubio, a good player who’s injured ri—”

“Why would they trade him if he’s injured? That’s mean.”

“No, see, he’s on an expiring contract, so the Pacers wanted him—”

“Who are the Pacers?”

“They’re Indiana’s NBA team, and they got Rubio because—”

“That’s a dumb team name.”

“Yeah I know. But Rubio’s on an expiring contract, so the Pacers can—”

“Can we get Chick-fil-A?”

The conversations immediately fold on themselves, and it’d be impossible to even get to the punchline: this week, many NBA players could be uprooted from their homes and shipped across the country with a single tweet. Consider yourself lucky, NBA fan, because you’ve immersed yourself in a complicated world of backdoor dealing, asset management, and flat-out lying.

Thursday at 3PM EST marks this year’s trade deadline. Only a few deals have broken through so far: the Clippers’ robbery of the Blazers, Cleveland’s acquisition of Caris LeVert, Denver bringing in Bryn Forbes, and the Knicks bizarre move to swipe up Cam Reddish (and subsequently not play him).

It’s very likely that more trades occur as we get closer to Thursday. To be prepared, you need to be able to sift through all of the madness and understand the lingo that reporters like Adrian Wojnarowski, Shams Charania, Marc Stein, Zach Lowe, and Jake Fischer use when referring to players and teams on Twitter.

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I present to you a glossary of all of the best terms used by basketball’s best news breakers, ranging in both severity and sincerity:

source: The person with an NBA team (from scouts to team presidents) who is leaking/revealing shit to reporters

intel: The shit that gets leaked to reporters.

asset: A player or pick deemed to have trade value around the league. They can be split into positive assets (ex. any Sacramento Kings future first round pick) or negative assets (ex. Davis Bertans’ insane 5-year, $80 million contract).

garnering interest: Multiple teams are calling about a certain player several times a week.

package: Multiple players and picks presented as an option in trade negotiations. (ex. “Houston GM Rafael Stone's return of picks -- including four unprotected first and four unprotected pick swaps -- is one of the strongest draft packages in league history.”)

discussions: A player’s name was mentioned on a phone call between executives of different teams.

asking price: What a team thinks their asset is worth. (ex. “Inside of two weeks until the February 10 NBA trade deadline, the Kings believe the asking price for Simmons is too steep and that a pathway to reaching an agreement with the Sixers doesn’t exist”)

has fans in the organization: effectively meaningless; a reporter has played Telephone with many different teams and can’t pin down a single person to pin a team’s interest in a player to.

interested in: A team had a conversation about acquiring a certain player; effectively meaningless, considering front offices are constantly discussing different players and teams.

inquired: A team reached out to another team in regards to acquiring one of their players. (ex. “Boston inquired about a (Kawhi) trade prior to the February deadline, sources said.”)

has been made available: A team’s just about ready to ship a guy out.

linked to: More than one source has repeatedly assured that a team is interested in a player (ex. “…while Boston also remains strongly linked to Fournier and other bidders could emerge depending on where Toronto's Kyle Lowry lands.”)

in pursuit of: A team is down bad about a player they really want.

in hot pursuit of: An even funnier way of saying a team is down bad about a player they really want. (ex. “Another team in hot pursuit of OKC's Reggie Jackson, league source tells Yahoo Sports: The Detroit Pistons" or “When it comes to LeBron James, still one consistent belief among participants: Bulls lead, with Heat, Nets and Cavs in hot pursuit”)

talks have progressed: There’s a lot of schmoozing and chicanery going on during trade negotiations — but things are in a good place overall, it seems.

engaged: There’s some teams definitely talking about a deal that seems rather imminent.

advanced talks: Start packing your bags. (ex. “Celtics, Nets in advanced talks on Kevin Garnett-Paul Pierce blockbuster.”)

serious talks: Your bags better be packed. (ex. “The Clippers are engaged in serious talks on a deal that would send All-Star forward Blake Griffin to the Pistons”)

closing in on: You’re on the next flight out, buddy. (ex. “Orlando is closing in on a trade to send Aaron Gordon to Denver”)

expanding the deal: Another team got word that the deal is happening and sees their opportunity to grift OR a team is about to make a trade in which the salaries/assets don’t match and need a favor from another team to complete the deal.

You’re going to see a lot of Mad-Lib style tweets today, tomorrow, and Thursday. NBA reporters use these terms to be dramatic, and it’s worked: Woj makes over a million dollars a year because of his ability to gather intel about players garnering interest around the league. He always knows which executives are engaged on several fronts with players that have been made available for serious talks.

How did all of this start, you may ask? My best guess is that LeBron’s The Decision kicked off the NBA Twitter era, and media outlets haven’t looked back since. You could make the case it goes back even before social media, to David Stern’s ultra-dramatic announcement of the Chris Webber trade in 1993.

Tell me Stern didn’t know exactly what the hell he was doing here:

Are there any of your favorite trade terms that I’ve missed? Which one is your favorite? Leave comment below:

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Links

Klay Thompson making clutch threes in Oklahoma City: a tradition that has stood the test of time.

Bleacher Report’s Jake Fischer on the latest trade deadline intel, including news on CJ McCollum and how the Pistons’ ridiculous asking price will likely keep Grant in Detroit until this offseason.

Zach Lowe and Ramona Shelburne dive deep into the Ben Simmons situation on The Lowe Post.

Bradley Beal’s agent made a surprise visit to D.C. to visit with Wizards’ management ahead of the trade deadline — what does it mean?

LaMelo Ball and Dejounte Murray each had awesome reactions to being named All-Star replacements.

The No Ceilings crew released their updated, 60-prospect big board for the 2022 NBA Draft.

Daryl Morey loves James Harden.

After stepping down from his role as the Rockets’ lead decision maker, Morey took out an entire full-page advertisement in the Houston Chronicle to thank everyone he worked with. He was grateful for the ability to add some of his “all-time favorite players” (a bizarre list that included Aaron Brooks, Chuck Hayes, and Luis Scola) to the Rockets’ core of Tracy McGrady and Yao Ming.

Morey continued on with even more gratitude:

“We remained a fun, hard-working group afterwards, but it did teach us what life was like without a superstar in the NBA. And then…

James Harden changed my life.

An entire page could be dedicated just to James. He not only transformed my life, but he also revolutionized the game of basketball — and continues to do so — like almost no one has before. The game is played differently because of James, and on every playground in the world, the next generation of talent is studying and imitating his game. I can’t believe I won’t be able to have another strategy session with James.”

Ten days later, ESPN reported that the Sixers were set to hire Daryl Morey as their new president of basketball operations.

We know what happened next: Harden quickly pushed his way out of Houston, too and had his choice between joining Morey in Philadelphia or creating a superteam in Brooklyn.

He chose the latter. In a more than a season and a half, Harden has only played 16 games with both Durant and Irving by his side. I wonder if he thinks he made the right decision.

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A few weeks ago, Marc Stein reported that many teams in the NBA are operating under the assumption that Philadelphia would hold off on trading Ben Simmons until the offseason, when James Harden could force a sign-and-trade to the Sixers.

Now, it seems Morey could have a strategy session with the player who changed his life once again, even sooner than anticipated:

The Beard has missed the last two games due to left hamstring tightness. If you choose to take that at what it’s worth, it might explain Harden’s poor performance against the Kings on Wednesday — a forgettable four-point, six-turnover outing in which he looked completely checked out.

The timing of Harden’s removal from the lineup coincides with Charania’s report, which is odd — and potentially, not a coincidence. It’s worth considering that the Nets could be holding Harden out until a deal is made, or Harden could be holding himself out as he awaits his departure from Brooklyn.

The Nets were quick to shut down any rumors about Harden’s availability:

Nash’s one-word decline was the best he could do. What’s he supposed to say? “Man, we’ve been shopping him for a MINUTE! You KNOW I can’t wait until he’s gone!” He also didn’t say, “You’d have to ask Sean Marks about that one, chief.”

Do you remember when the Sixers and Rockets nearly completed a deal that would’ve sent Ben Simmons, Matisse Thybulle, and several future first round picks to Houston in exchange for James Harden? While the Rockets were engaged with both Philadelphia and Brooklyn on a Harden trade, Daryl Morey called Charania to make his stance oh so clear:

The writing seems to be on the wall with this situation. Morey loves Harden. Harden had the best years of his career working directly with Morey to create an offense unlike any we’ve ever seen (and certainly, one of the least visually appealing offenses in modern NBA history).

Harden also has all of the leverage in Brooklyn. He can become an unrestricted free agent this summer if he chooses not to sign an extension. If the Nets fear Harden will walk, they should at least get something for him.

But the list of teams that would trade for Harden is slim, because any suitor would need assurance that Harden would sign an extension. If they don’t have it, they just mortgaged their future for three months of James Harden.

Lucky for the Nets, the Sixers could send Ben Simmons (a 25-year old multi-time All-Star who clearly needs a new home) and an extra $2.5 million in salary to Brooklyn — with the implied reassurance that Harden loves Daryl Morey, an extension could be agreed upon, and that the two could work together with Joel Embiid to create a superteam in Philadelphia after all.

Would the Nets want Ben Simmons? I’m not sure. We know KD is a big fan of him. That probably helps.

I think it would be a surprise if James Harden isn’t a Sixer by 3PM EST on February 10th. With everything we’ve laid out — Morey’s ever-apparent blind love for Harden, Nash's swift dismissal of any Harden trade rumors, and the Nets’ lack of leverage in their 10-time All-Star’s impending free agency — one last thought prevails…

Why was any of this a surprise in the first place?

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Caris LeVert comes home

The Pacers might actually be rebuilding?

The Cavs might actually be a contender?

It’s looking that way. Cleveland desperately needed to add a solid wing to their rotation, and they landed one of the best on the market in Caris LeVert. LeVert returns to his home state and is reunited with former teammate Jarrett Allen.

Indiana seems to be in blow-it-up mode. By acquiring Ricky Rubio’s expiring contract, a 2022 lottery-protected first, Houston’s second round pick this year (likely to be in the low 30s) and another future second round pick, they’ve cleared around $20 million in cap space and will likely make three selections in the top 35 of this year’s draft.

That’s a pretty awesome start. ESPN’s Adrian Wojnarowski hinted that Indiana could keep dealing:

Norman Powell, hot and ready

Little Caesars has made their money from their $5 Hot-N-Ready pizza. Customers sacrifice some quality for the ability to walk right into the store, hand over $5, and walk away with a decent pizza.

The Clippers essentially handed a five dollar bill to the Blazers on Friday, but what they received was the finest deep-dish pizza in all the land — two players made for the postseason, who could help the Clippers now and when Kawhi Leonard and Paul George return next season.

Norman Powell scored 28 in his Clippers’ debut, just over 48 hours after being dealt alongside Robert Covington from Portland in exchange for Eric Bledsoe, Justise Winslow, Keon Johnson, and a second round pick.

This is instant offense, personified:

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Links

The Ringer’s Dan Devine with a deeper look at Friday’s Clippers-Blazers trade, showing how the deal makes sense for both team’s present and future.

Mark Schindler’s in-depth interview with Caleb and Cody Martin, and their life as twin teammates & opponents in the NBA.

GQ’s Tyler R. Tynes’ awesome interview on Jaren Jackson Jr., in which he reveals that James Wiseman, Jordan Poole, Brandon Ingram and Mo Bamba are among the best rappers in the league — all with unreleased tracks 👀

The best from Joel Embiid and DeMar DeRozan’s Sunday afternoon duel, in which the two combined for 95 points 😱

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What’s your definition of an All-Star?

No, not the Smash Mouth song (or, to people my age, the song from Shrek). I’m talking about NBA All-Stars. Who meets the criteria?

I think there needs to be a clearer definition of the term All-Star, because we have the All-NBA teams if we’re really trying to decide who the best 24 players in the NBA have been this season.

All-Star Weekend is a carefully crafted product designed to be an accolade for the players, while also accomplishing the NBA’s marketing goals for that season. The games & gimmicks galore that once used to be must-see TV have fallen flat in recent years. The Dunk Contest died the day Aaron Gordon brought out the TikTok girls.

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In my opinion, the All-Star teams should be filled with the players that fans want to see most. No, I’m not saying that it should be 100% fan vote. Andrew Wiggins is starting the All-Star game — I’m well aware of what could happen if we gave the fans even more power to decide these teams.

But as Shaq, Chuck, Kenny, Ernie, and Draymond revealed the rosters on Inside The NBA last night, I started to get the sense that the voting for the reserves was a bit out of touch for what the fans want to see.

All-Star should be about providing the most entertaining and memorable contest to basketball fans around the world. The introduction of the Elam Ending in 2020 created one of the most memorable All-Star Games ever. For the first time, ten of the best players in the NBA were on the same court trying — sacrificing their body, taking charges, and probably playing a little too hard for their franchise’s liking.

The Elam Ending was the first major step towards restoring the greatness of All-Star Weekend, but the rosters need to match the excitement

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Here’s the full All-Star rosters for each conference. I’ve stylized the names like this:

Bold = 100% should be an All-Star

No style = I’m okay with it

Italics = There’s a much better option available

Strikethrough = Likely to miss the All-Star game

East

Starters: Trae Young, DeMar DeRozan, Kevin Durant, Giannis Antetokounmpo, Joel Embiid

Reserves: Jimmy Butler, Darius Garland, James Harden, Zach LaVine, Khris Middleton, Jayson Tatum, Fred VanVleet

West

Starters: Stephen Curry, Ja Morant, Andrew Wiggins, LeBron James, Nikola Jokic

Reserves: Devin Booker, Luka Doncic, Rudy Gobert, Draymond Green, Donovan Mitchell, Chris Paul, Karl-Anthony Towns

In my mind, there’s two players missing in the East who definitely fulfill my definition of an All-Star: LaMelo Ball and Jarrett Allen. With KD being the only All-Star in the East confirmed to miss this year’s events, only one of them can get in. For the entertainment value, I really want to take LaMelo — but because the game is in Cleveland, I think Jarrett Allen should get the nod.

Khris Middleton’s name came as a surprise to me. The Bucks haven’t really been as dominant as we expected them to. Maybe they’re saving it for another postseason run? When it comes to entertainment value, I just don’t want to see him more than anyone else in the East. You know what I’d rather see? LaMelo Ball, 360 no-scoping Giannis for a between the legs 720 backflip alley oop.

Out West, I really don’t want to get into the Draymond Green All-Star conversation. I think he deserves it, but it doesn’t matter — he’s injured. Dejounte Murray is more than deserving of an All-Star bid and should replace Green in Cleveland.

How do you feel about the All-Star teams? Is there a player you think should be at All-Star this year that isn’t? Leave a comment below, but remember:

Only shooting stars break the mold.

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Defense, optional

Reggie Jackson (not Mr. T or Dr. Dre, or even Mr. October — but close) hit the game-winning layup to knock off the Lakers last night. It’s a great moment. You might notice that he cooks Austin Reaves on the play, but this play by Reaves offers even more intrigue.

Watch Eric Bledsoe, who starts at the far right of the screen, for the entire play:

If we wanted to be nice to him, we would say that Bledsoe was trying to draw a charge on Anthony Davis. But those plays only work when there’s someone already back to stop the ball, and… there’s not a soul in sight.

Klay remembers

Klay Thompson tied his season-high in scoring, dropping 23 points against the Sacramento Kings. None of his buckets were sweeter than this one, a signature corner three off of Steph’s ridiculous corner skip:

After the game, this tweet surfaced:

Do you remember who the Kings drafted with the 10th pick instead? It’s an easy one… take some time to think about it. Ahh, yes — they traded for the right to select Jimmer Fredette!

I know I’m getting old when I find a highlight of a player I remember watching and the editor put Fort Minor’s Remember The Name to it. Man. What a song. I wonder how much money they made off of middle and high school basketball warm up music alone.

I checked Statmuse to see if Klay was right about his great games against the Kings. He’s right — he’s averaged 21.8 points against Sacramento (which ranks fourth among 29 teams), and played against them more than any other team in his career.

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Links

The first ever HOOPLA podcast, where I talked about how the Wizards should blow their team up, the Pistons’ two paths with Jerami Grant, and shared some draft thoughts on Jabari Smith Jr. and AJ Griffin.

(Make sure you subscribe & follow the podcast on Spotify and Apple!)

Our Trade Hopefulness Ladder, which is looking bleaker by the day.

Chet Holmgren finished last night’s game with 23 points, 12 rebounds, and three blocks. He scored 11 points in two minutes, pinning shots and taking them coast to coast. The demigods are here.

ESPN’s Tim MacMahon with an incredible feature on the unfazed Memphis Grizzlies, who have a “drippy” culture and feel more like an AAU team than a contender.

It’s February 2nd. My heart is constantly fluttering. I am on my phone 24/7. I’ve got Twitter notifications on for Shams, Woj, Stein, and Haynes.

(I might need to add Jake Fischer, because he’s crashed the party with some awesome intel over these past two seasons.)

If you’re reading this right now, we’re as close to the Trade Deadline as we’ve ever been. Are you prepared for your team to make a move? How do you react when your team shuffles the deck? I know Pacers fans probably can’t remember that feeling.

With so many teams in the playoff hunt, there’s very few sellers and very few teams willing to hit the reset button. Teams like Sacramento see what Cleveland has done and feel like they just need to get the right group of guys in the building.

They’re wrong.

Both this deadline and the upcoming free agency seem like traps for teams to overpay for a players who probably won’t help them win a title. I am perfectly fine with that, because the dopamine I get from a trade popping up on my phone is almost second to none.

I’ve ranked the players and trade packages I’d like to see moved before February 10th at 3PM EST. Remember: I am a fiend for roster movement and a cultivator of chaos.

8. Terrence Ross & Gary Harris

Gary Harris has an expiring contract worth $20 million and Terrence Ross is slotted to make $24 million over this season and next. Both of them are perfect players to drop in if your team needs buckets.

It really felt like Ross was going to get traded last season. He thought so too —and when the team shipped away Aaron Gordon and Nikola Vucevic in separate deals, he had jokes about it:

It’s truly amazing how quickly Orlando has become an optimistic situation after years of mediocrity. Before, they could’ve hung a banner for catching Milwaukee in Game 1 of the Bubble playoffs. With Franz Wagner & Cole Anthony, they’ve got two awesome building blocks. Jalen Suggs is on his way to earning that status, too.

Young players need vets, so it’s not a guarantee Ross and Harris are traded. But I think Orlando can stack even more assets by moving one or both — and the Magic are going to be in position to draft a replacement of any veteran they choose to move.

Wishful Destinations: Cavs, Mavs, T-Wolves, Hornets

7. Talen Horton-Tucker, Kendrick Nunn, and the Lakers’ 2027 first-round pick

The Lakers have shopped this package around to every team and have received nothing but laughing emojis (because I know damn well they didn’t want to face the embarrassment of saying it out loud over the phone). And while I don’t think THT, Nunn, and the 2027 first-rounder will be moved, I sure do want it to happen.

Not for the Lakers’ sake — I want them to feel the aftermath of signing every single 70 overall player in NBA 2K. My mission is to absolutely roast the hell out of the team who chooses to help the Lakers out by taking on this terrible package.

This is the best group of assets the Lakers have to offer. If they get an important player back in this deal, the NBA may be rigged.

Wishful Destinations: Kings

Potential Destinations: Kings, Shanghai Sharks

6. Eric Gordon

Eric Gordon is making over $18M this year and close to $20M next season — but none of his $20.9 million in 2023-24 is guaranteed, making him the perfect player to consolidate bench pieces for in exchanged for guaranteed offense.

Gordon is the last impactful Rocket from the Harden system. He’s having a career year in True Shooting at 62.8% — that’s a pretty amazing number for a 6’3” shooting guard in his age-33 season.

While star trades almost never swing the title race (Rasheed Wallace and Marc Gasol would like a word, I’m sure), players like Eric Gordon are often the missing piece to propel a hopeful playoff team into a contender.

Gordon’s scoring and toughness fit on just about every team, and I really hope Houston swaps him out for veterans who don’t impact winning like he does.

Wishful Destinations: Cavs, Raptors, Celtics, Mavs, T-Wolves, Blazers, Suns

5. Bradley Beal and most other Washington Wizards

I’m all the way done with the Washington Wizards. They’ve got a completely new team but still feel like the same old Wizards — a franchise trying way too hard to be relevant at the price of their future.

Beal’s recent wrist injury in combination with his reluctance to sign an extension should have him on the next ticket out of town. The Wizards could have about half the league sending in mega-offers for Beal’s services — but Beal himself has wanted to be a hero for the team that drafted him, and it’s cost him a chance to contend.

It’s not only Beal. The Wizards have three good centers and many teams hardly have one. Spencer Dinwiddie’s teammates hate him. It’s a terrible environment to let prospects like Deni Avdija and Rui Hachimura blossom into important players.

Washington should trade everyone and build around Kyle frickin’ Kuzma.

Potential Bradley Beal deal: To Philadelphia for Ben Simmons, Tyrese Maxey, and picks.

Potential Thomas Bryant deal: To Detroit along with Deni Avdija for Jerami Grant.

Potential Davis Bertans deal: To Oklahoma City along with a 2027 lottery-protected first round pick for Darius Bazley.

Wishful Spencer Dinwiddie deal: Convert his salary from Bitcoin back to USD and trade him to the Lakers for THT and Kendrick Nunn.

4. Indiana’s top six tradable players

Shams Charania dropped a bomb early in the season, essentially reporting that the Pacers were open for business and listening to offers for Domantas Sabonis, Myles Turner, and Caris LeVert.

Here’s the thing: I want TJ Warren, Jeremy Lamb, and Justin Holiday gone, too.

The Pacers have never blown their team up. It’s time — and these next two draft classes have pieces at the top that are worth tanking for.

Sabonis is a weird fit on a lot of teams, and while Bleacher Report’s Jake Fischer says that he’s definitely a name to watch — I have a hard time figuring out which team he’ll end up on. Any deal for him will feel like a surprise.

Myles Turner, on the other hand, seems destined to go to Charlotte for a package of players, Toronto for a package of players, or Detroit in a swap for Jerami Grant.

I’m betting on this one: if Caris LeVert is moved, he will be a Cleveland Cavalier on Feb. 11th.

Potential Justin Holiday deal: To Phoenix for Jalen Smith and a future pick swap.

3. Jerami Grant

In Grant’s return last night, he made some winning plays, knocked down a few shots, and was aggressive in his touches. His presence still turned Saddiq Bey into a scarecrow, but it was a flash that Grant is willing to go back to somewhere in between his roles in Detroit and Denver.

That’s a great sign for his potential to be dealt, although Marc Stein has reported that there’s a rift in the front office about Grant’s situation. GM Troy Weaver has known Grant since he was in high school and would like to retain him, while vice chairman Arn Tellem seems to be in favor of moving him.

If a star bigger than Jerami Grant is traded, it will be a surprise. We could expect Detroit to receive some pretty good offers, or just choose to keep him through the deadline.

Jake Fischer also named Detroit as a potential suitor for Collin Sexton, Deandre Ayton, and Jalen Brunson this offseason — a sign that they’re going to use their upcoming cap space, and a Grant deal could potentially open up even more space.

It also tips us off to the fact that Detroit does not want be in the lottery past this season. Does that mean the Pistons would hope to receive a similar-tiered player in return for Grant?

Potential Grant destinations: Bulls, Hawks, Wizards, Kings, Pacers

2. Ben Simmons

How is Ben Simmons not number one?

I’ll tell you why: as much as I want Ben Simmons traded, there’s a thought creeping up inside of me that wants to see the Sixers win it all without him.

It would rely on Joel Embiid staying healthy and continuing to post insane stat lines. Every time I check their scores, Embiid has 38 points, 12 rebounds, and six assists. Without Simmons or a trade, this will be an MVP season for Joel Embiid — and he might be good enough to carry the Sixers to a title as currently constructed.

That premise would make the Sixers a superpower: a team fresh off a title, overcoming the adversity of Simmons’ absence and Tobias Harris’ steady diet of contested jumpers, ready and willing to make deals with a ring already in hand.

Coming back down to reality, Simmons is still at the top of this list because I want Embiid to have that title, and the right deal would give the Sixers the best shot to go get it.

Favorite Simmons destinations: Kings, Hawks, Pelicans, Clippers

1. Every Sacramento King not named Tyrese Haliburton (their actual king)

By choosing Marvin Bagley III over Luka Doncic and Trae Young in the 2018 NBA Draft, they set their franchise back at least seven years.

That’s okay — because by leaning into the tank, they could have their choice of Victor Wembanyama, Scoot Henderson, or even this year’s crop of combo-forwards if they decide soon enough.

But Kings ownership has a playoff mandate, and GM Monte McNair has the chance to swing some deals that would put them in a better spot.

How the Kings could acquire Domantas Sabonis: De’Aaron Fox, Tristan Thompson, and two second round picks for Sabonis and TJ Warren

How the Kings could acquire Jerami Grant: Richaun Holmes, Marvin Bagley III, and a 2022 top-5 protected first round pick

That leaves a starting lineup of Tyrese Haliburton, Buddy Hield, Harrison Barnes, Jerami Grant, and Domantas Sabonis.

Size, shooting, two combo-forward defenders and Sabonis to clean up inside.

A bench unit of Davion Mitchell, Terence Davis, TJ Warren, Mo Harkless, and Damian Jones. Defenders everywhere.

You’re welcome, Monte McNair.