I have a feeling we’ll be seeing Russell Westbrook and the Lakers on here quite a bit.

What looks like a dream team by name recognition alone has become the NBA’s ultimate meme team — a cast of characters nearly entirely past their prime struggling to string together any sort of consistency, and Russell Westbrook in the fold as the perfect mascot.

January’s NBA Memes of the Month aren’t all Lakers, but they’re the perfect place to start.

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A Russell Westbrook diss track for the ages

Everything about this is perfect: the song choice, the fact that he sent it to Russ over Instagram DM, and just how much thought went into the lyrics. There’s a lane for an NBA roast master who specializes in parody raps — and this guy is my first choice:

My favorite part:

You ain’t too good when you shoot that ball

I prefer you didn’t shoot at all (No!)

Come on, come on, Russ, show me something

2-12 ain’t nothing

If Bron was open for a corner three

I bet a dollar that you’d throw it to the nosebleeds

Austin Reaves’ inability to pretend he knows what the hell LeBron is talking about

Unlike the perpetually Laker-pilled Talen Horton-Tucker, Austin Reaves is like, actually good. But LeBron has 18 frickin’ years of NBA experience on young Hillbilly Kobe. I think this clip is actually a positive thing — LeBron trusts Reaves, and wouldn’t tell him how they’re going to steal the Declaration of Independence unless he believed Reaves could help.

“OH, HELL NO!”

Alvin Gentry has been through some shit. Coaching the Kings must the most frustrating job in the league — especially when you’re coaching against the darlings of the NBA brand:

One of these players is NOT like the others

Andrew Wiggins, All-Star starter. That will never sound weird, and it looks even worse:

Tobias Harris, better door than window

The quickness in which Tobias Harris becomes pissed in this clip is hilarious to me. He’s already completely upright, rolling his head back before Cole Anthony reaches the paint. Poor Tyrese Maxey, whose jaw is an unfortunate victim of Harris’ inability to communicate the handoff.

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Steven Adams ordered carryout

If you let another man carry you away from a scuffle, you never had a chance in the first place.

Tony Bradley is listed at 6’10”, 247 pounds. Aquaman put him on his shoulder like a sack of potatoes and took him away from the scene of the crime.

Don’t put your finger there

Cade Cunningham — the only reason people buy tickets to Pistons games — was ejected for pointing in Bismack Biyombo’s direction after a reverse slam. While the Pistons may have lost, we all win for having this meme:

This is the ultimate caption contest photo. I cried a lot as a kid, and my older sister would mock me — this is exactly what I looked like pointing to my mom to get her to stop. It also reminded me of this.

Jimmy Butler eviscerates Max Strus

“He just stinks, so people leave him open.” — Jimmy Butler

Devin Booker, notably anti-dinosaur

Canada has stricter rules about COVID, so they’ve been playing their home games without fans. That gives an intern in a Raptor costume free reign to talk shit to Devin Booker at the free throw line in an empty gym.

I love Devin Booker, but he can be cranky. The mascot is paid to do his job — fans or not. Booker’s complaining gets the poor Raptor shunned to the corner to sit and weep. You can’t see it, but he’s shedding tears underneath his mesh mouth.

I think they made up.

Desperate for that prize pack

In-arena contests (outside of the half-court shot) are gimmicky. Playing Blackjack on the Jumbotron is actually a fantastic idea — until you bring someone on who either doesn’t know how the game works, falls into peer pressure, or just wants the most basic prize pack the team has to offer:

Would it have been better or worse if he hit an Ace of Spades, getting him right to 21? I vote better. The face the bear dealer makes when he hit on 20 was a perfect clip — which makes me think this was planned.

What’s in these prize packs anyway?

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The incoming Wizards meltdown

Brad Beal is going to miss some time with a wrist injury. Earlier in the month, Montrezl Harrell and Kentavious Caldwell-Pope had to be separated in the locker room. Coach Wes Unseld Jr. says that Daniel Gafford will be out of the rotation for some time. Now, The Ringer’s Kevin O’Connor casually dropped a bar on Spencer Dinwiddie:

“The Wizards want to move Dinwiddie because he looks like a shell of his former self and his teammates don’t want him there.”

My friend Zariq made the best point: where are Dinwiddie’s teammates coming to his defense? They haven’t. That’s how you know it’s true.

Marc Stein hosts a weekly Spotify Greenroom to take questions about the NBA trade deadline. Almost all of the questions are terrible and Stein doesn’t break any news on the call, but he was quick to shut down the possibility of any Beal-Simmons trade.

That’s a shame. If I was Wizards’ GM Tommy Sheppard, I would have sent Beal to Philadelphia for Ben Simmons, Tyrese Maxey, a first-round pick and whatever else I wanted. I’d have Jerami Grant back to his hometown team. I’d raffle off the rest of the guys for as many shooters as I can find.

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Tyrese Maxey is untouchable

I’m really, really hoping for an active Trade Deadline. We’ll have more stuff on it tomorrow, Thursday, and probably through the Feb. 10th trade deadline.

I came into this trade season under the guise that the Sixers should do whatever it takes to move Simmons. Any minutes that come in return for Simmons are better than the zero he’s giving them — right? I even conceded that the Sixers should move off of Tyrese Maxey in a Simmons deal if it means getting a true star.

I don’t believe that any more.

I almost think Maxey carries all of the same juice that Ja Morant has, but without the S-tier athleticism. Maxey was matching Morant’s below-the-rim trickery, a barrage of long euro-steps and backboard english on the way to 33 points in an OT thriller:

Can the Sixers land a true wing scorer, cut from the Jaylen Brown or Brandon Ingram cloth? I don’t think so, but Maxey’s second-year leap is ultra-encouraging.

Here’s Maxey and Beal in their 21-year-old seasons:

Links

I appeared on the You Know Ball podcast to talk about Tyrese Haliburton, Jerami Grant trades, the Harden-to-Philly rumors, and more.

Yesterday’s piece on why I’ll take Cade Cunningham over Evan Mobley for the next seven years.

Nathan Grubel of the awesome No Ceilings crew put out his first Rookie Ladder. I’d switch no. 1 and no. 2, but he’s dead on for the rest. They’re awesome on the NBA Draft — go subscribe to them if you haven’t.

The Ringer’s Zach Kram on where Andrew Wiggins fits among the most undeserving All-Star selections.

Ben Taylor breaking down Stephen Curry’s relative shooting slump and if it actually matters.