10 NBA lists we actually want to see
We’re officially one month away from the start of the NBA’s regular season. You know what that means? Pump in the crowd noise and the electronic music… are y’all ready for some lists?
We’re officially one month away from the start of the NBA’s regular season. You know what that means? Pump in the crowd noise and the electronic music… are y’all ready for some lists?
You know the lists: Sports Illustrated’s Top 100 players list. The Athletic’s player tiers. Each publication casts their judgement of the upcoming season, answering questions that almost guarantee you’ll click. Top 10 players! Overrated or underrated? Preseason picks for every award! Which players will be traded this year? It’s an easy structure to write from, and it drums up engagement. And no list will cause more hassle than the NBA’s 75 best players of the past 75 years.
I’m tired of these traditional lists. No longer will I get hung up on Bleacher Report leaving Saddiq Bey (an All-Rookie first team selection) out of the top ten of their re-draft of the 2020 draft class.
Instead, I’ve made my own list. Today, we’re looking at ten lists I actually want to see during the 2021-22 NBA season.
Top 10 players who are mad because they didn’t get a call from the Lakers
The Lakers’ offseason fully confirmed our suspicion that LeBron is the general manager. He wanted to make it difficult on himself and bring in NBA veterans that he’s either played with, or is friends with. You could bet Mario Chalmers, Zydrunas Ilgauskas, Mo Williams, and Mike Miller would make this list.
5 players who we want to see Ja Morant almost dunk on
Ja Morant’s rookie season allowed him to take Victor Oladipo’s crown away — he is now the king of missed dunks. Anthony Davis and Kevin Love survived basketball’s version of attempted murder. Personally, I want to see KD and Giannis on this list. One darkhorse pick: Zion!
7 NBA players who should have their own reality show
We basically have access to player’s lives through their Instagram stories. But there’s still a few players who are intriguing enough to star in their own binge-worthy Netflix shows: Klay Thompson, Anthony Edwards, Joel Embiid, and LaMelo Ball come to mind.
Top 5 players who could be Kendall Jenner’s seventh NBA boyfriend
Kendall has been linked to D’Angelo Russell, Ben Simmons, Kyle Kuzma, Jordan Clarkson, and Blake Griffin — all before settling down with Devin Booker. But if things with her and Book go awry — I’m sure Kelly Oubre, Jimmy Butler, and Jamal Murray could keep up with the Kardashians.
2 players who travel every single time they touch the ball
This one is easy: LeBron James and Russell Westbrook.
5 players that every other NBA player hates
This one is subjective — it’s easy to see players disliked by opposing players, but you really have to pay attention to find players who are hated by their own teammates. Three players that immediately come to mind: Andre Drummond, Hassan Whiteside, and Buddy Hield.
James Harden’s favorite strip clubs in NBA markets, ranked
It’s no secret that James Harden’s worst performances come in the cities with the best strip clubs. The list writes itself, thanks to the excellent work done on this Reddit thread.
9 NBA players that could play Billy Hoyle in a ‘White Men Can’t Jump’ reboot
A remake of White Men Can’t Jump is no longer a matter of if it will happen — it’s when. Disney will have its choosing of NBA players to fill the roles of Billy and Sidney. Some candidates for Billy: Doug McDermott, Duncan Robinson, Alex Caruso, and Tyler Herro. But the best candidate, without question, is T.J. McConnell.
6 NBA players who would be phenomenal at other sports if they tried
Michael Jordan played baseball, but wasn’t amazing at it. But could you imagine if prime LeBron played in the NFL? Who’s to say Russell Westbrook doesn’t have Cristiano Ronaldo’s soccer career if he was born in Europe? Steven Adams and Marcus Smart would rule the UFC, and Joel Embiid would ascend to the top of the WWE.
Ben Simmons’ offseason three point shooting Instagram clips, ranked
Just kidding. They’re all bad.