NBA 2K15's staggering voice acting
What came through as a nifty little in-game feature now lives rent-free in the heads of NBA 2K gamers, even eight years later
Sometimes, tiny and inconsequential moments stick in our brains. Fragments of memories. The color of something out of scene; the night we heard our favorite song for the first time; a place we stopped to get gas once.
A lot of my childhood was spent in front of a screen playing video games — most notably, the countless hours playing NBA 2K with my cousins and friends, teaming up together online to defeat other groups of cousins and friends. I think I spent so much time on the game that some of these virtual moments became actual memories — things that happened to me, not just the character I created.
I can imagine the same is true for this YouTuber named Ryan, whose channel is an absolute goldmine for one of the most bizarre features that 2K has ever tried to pull off:
That is NOT LeBron’s voice. What the hell?
Here’s the scoop: after NBA 2K14’s mind-reading insanity, the developers brought in actual NBA players as voice actors. In NBA 2K15’s MyCareer mode, your player gets drafted and immediately meets his new mentor on the team.
Hilarity ensues.
Here’s a list of all of the NBA players who lended their voice to 2K15:
Al Horford, Al Jefferson, Andre Drummond, Andre Iguodala, Arron Afflalo, Bradley Beal, Brandan Wright, Brandon Knight, Brook Lopez, Channing Frye, Corey Brewer, Danny Green, Dante Exum, DeMarcus Cousins, Dion Waiters, Ed Davis, Eric Gordon, Gerald Wallace, James Harden, Jimmy Butler, JJ Redick, Kendall Marshall, Kevin Durant, Markieff Morris, Mike Conley, Paul George, Robin Lopez, Roy Hibbert, Terrence Ross, Thad Young, Trey Burke, Ty Lawson, and Udonis Haslem.
Holy shit, man. I haven’t even thought about Kendall Marshall or Dante Exum in years. Hope they’re doing alright!
Some players were good at voice acting! Most were forgettable. And a few were so tremendously terrible on the mic that it’s hard to understand how 2K’s producers let it happen — those, my friends, are the ones we’re focusing on today.
One thing is abundantly clear off rip: the producers who worked on NBA 2K15 only had time for one take with each player. All of the mispronounced words, stutters, and random pauses made it to the final version of the game. There were no second chances. The producers didn’t have either the time or the stones to tell the players to start over again.
Markieff Morris
It would be foolish to expect these guys to turn in a DiCaprio-level performance for a role in a video game their agent forced them to do. But a disinterested Keef sounds like Kanye with his jaw wired shut talking through a Darth Vader mask.
If you’ve ever been in an argument with some friends, you know that it immediately flips from disagreement to roast session as soon as you stumble on your words. No time for that in the 2K universe, though.
Morris is just reading the lines. No concern for context, dialogue, emotion or tone — just doing what he’s told to do. You have to respect it.
Al Jefferson
I think I would listen to Al Jefferson give me advice about everything?
Big Al is from Missouri, and boy does it shine through. Even though he’s clearly just reading the paper, Al was trying his best in this scene!
The way he says “Listen to the coaches” and “It’s not about the money” are pure gold. There’s a few points of dialogue where he starts ad-libbing certain words, or replacing them entirely. He ends the scene with “Okay,” but I really wish he read the “Aiiight?” that the caption signals for.
YouTube comments that made me chuckle:
Eric Gordon
Speaking of trying your best, I think Eric Gordon was trying way too hard in this performance.
Gordon does not sound how I expected him to. It sounds like he’s just doing a generic impression of a nerd (and the script does him exactly zero favors).
“That was sweets to see.” Good god. Did he just walk out of a candy shop? It’s further proof that there was only one take. Also: notice how Gordon drops his head and shrugs his shoulders when he’s done. Yeah, I can’t believe I just spoke like that, either.
This clip is even funnier if you take Gordon’s lines as sarcasm — like he caught you in the hallway to fry you for missing all of your shots.
YouTube comments that made me laugh:
Dion Waiters
This viral clip is the cream of the crop. Dion Waiters, the prized winner of the Worst Voice Acting In A Video Game Ever crown:
First thing: Dion Waiters as a character in NBA lore is inherently hilarious.
Second thing: The audio team, directors, producers, game testers, and publishers all let this slide. This deserves a 30 for 30, or at least a ten minute YouTube video.
Third thing: I’ve transcribed the clip to accurately reflect way that Waiters delivered his lines.
“Who have thought? That a young buck like you could actually… do the right thing and avoid gettin’… his sorry butt kicked out da game.”
“Sounds like a wise fella to win in this league. You need all hands on deck. Good call! Check—”
“Only thing we can control there is ourself. Forget the refs. The fans. Even the opponent. Handle your bidness and the rest will take care of itself, alright?”
Fourth thing: Waiters’ lines get cut off because he didn’t read them fast enough, which makes it even better.
Fifth thing: The way the created player walks away and says “I guess so” at the end is gold. Like, “I got no clue what the hell this dude is talking about.”
How did this happen? Almost seven years later, I still can’t believe this was released. Why did they choose Dion Waiters? Was there no other Cavalier available? They couldn’t get LeBron who (let me check) was the game’s cover athlete a year prior? Were James Jones and Iman Shumpert unavailable?
YouTube comments that made me gasp:
NBA players are brands now, but these scenes were recorded with role players in 2014. That’s eight years ago!
Most of the players chosen for the game have never been in a commercial, let alone a motion-captured cutscene in a yearly installment of a video game series. When KD, Harden, and Paul George show up on screen, they’re awesome. But someone at 2K thought it would be a great idea to give Dion Waiters and Al Jefferson 50 lines to read, and now we’re here.
2K didn’t lose money or fan loyalty by getting Ed Davis as a voice actor. My life hasn’t been altered by Corey Brewer’s appearance in the game.
But this tiny, inconsequential moment in a video game has remained with me. Just like Dion Waiters in that cutscene, it’s stuck.
Who have thought?